Judge — February 17, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE JUDGMENTS, E laughs best who has some- thing to laugh at. Strike a frying- pan and it sounds a funeral-knell. Most women are like dogs—kiss the hand that strikes them. Linger not too long over a greet- ing and take leave quickly. Over-praise works mischief with ON A TEAR, a child or an un- derling. “A rolling stone gathers no moss,” but it gathers no dirt either. “Youth hath a wisdom of its own,” but it never knows when to stop. To a woman there is no more uninteresting object than a man in love—with somebody else. If you are growing old claim all the amenities and privileges of age; and never say “*don't care.” We might hope for a better understanding with the English were it not that we eat mustard with mutton, MADELINE onvEs. A PROLONGED WEDDING CEREMONY. FATHER—"' Don't you think we ought to walk faster, daughter? We are not keeping up with the organ. DavcuTER—" No, pa. I have waited a long while for this opportunity and mean to make it last as long as possible.” ALLOWABLE, SHE is not jealous, yet she wished to know If any valentines I had received This year save hers; and when I answered no, Although I blushed, I knew that she believed. 1 lied, of course ; but why should I regale her About the little one sent by my tailor? AN ANGEL IN DISGUISE. Quericus—So the doctor saved his life?” Gynicus—" His poverty, rather, I should say. He was too poor to have the prescriptions filled.” SHE KNEW HER WAYS. ‘What has that old cat been saying about me?” How do you know she has been saying anything 2” '* She kissed me three times when I came in.” LABOR LOST. [MSOMEWHAT of a bard; the fact is And now I see how deep my folly, I'm master at all sorts of lines, No wonder I am feeling blue; And jast to keep myself in practice No wonder I am melancholy— I wrote some pretty valentines. I know no girls to send them to! A DOUBTING THOMAS. Briton —"Oh, it’s absurd to think that Englishmen of the present day wish to be avenged on Americans for the revolution.” American—"Why, then, do they persist in marrying our wo- men?” TOO, LATE, Travers —" Look here, old man; I want to send a valentine to Miss Summit and I haven't a red cent.” Dashaway —" Sor Littie Jounny (readin ‘faper}—"' Here's a name, ry, old fellow, but I've ALL RIGHT THIS TIME. pa, that's a regular jaw-breaker. Town xerHew—"' Great Scott! can this be Uncle Wayback?” FATHER—"* What is it?" just sent her ne, and THE UNCLE—"'Yep, it's me, William. Yer see, I “Towed these city Lirtie Jounny—"* Corbett.” neither have I. people warn't agoin’ ter make fun o’ me this time as’ they did afore.” comicbooks.com