Judge — February 10, 1894 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WANTED—PEMALE HELP. THE “DICKENS” TO PAY. ALD.Grovet to Lil, a.cooin’ an’ “Tell me, my sweet, if Barkis is will Said Lily to Gro, *’Tain’t no question «f sparkin’ ‘Tisonly, my dear, that Willis is barkin’.” ~ WHERE LOVE IS BARRED. Cholly —Aw—weally! 1 am in love with a—aw—chahming girl. What —aw—would you advise me to do?* Kind friend — Seek to gain ad- mission.” _ Cholly—"Aw—to the—aw—lady's heart Kind friend —"N. asylum.” EXCESSIVE PLAINNESS. Miss de Copps is very plain, I hear.” ; Miss Hardheart —* Well, she's so homely that her diamonds won't sparkle when she wears them.” ; to a lunatic- iss Buntling Mister CLavpes—"* Do yo" objec’ t’ gibi SiGNor Sricierta—" No; I shina you. JUDGE SIC SEMPER. THE happy pair had survived the congratulations of friends and relatives and were being whirled rapidly toward the depot in a hack before the bride- groom began fairly to realize that the vision of love- liness at his side was indeed his own. A dawning sense of what he had gone and done, and of the sacred charge that was now com- mitted to his care, began to creep upon his be- numbed faculties, driving the rose of health from his downy check and substituting therefor the pal- lor of haunting responsibilities. “Darling,” he whispered softly, “it will ever be my sacred care in life to"——She interrupted him somewhat brusquely. “Now,” said she, “don't sit on your coat-tails that way and get them all’ wrinkled. up, and for goodness’ sake don’t lay your elbow right in that dust! Heaven only knows how long it will be be- fore you get another good suit, so you'd better take care of this one. Now, when we get to the depot you'd better get a couple of ham-sandwiches, in case We get hungry.on the train, and two hard- boiled eggs, and don’t forget to get a small. paper of pepper and salt, and when we get to Switchville don’t let the clerk poke any four-dollar bridal THOSE OBLIVIOUS BICYCLISTS. He—"' Yes, it is charming weather, It is difficult to believe that any one could be unbappy on such a divine day as thi BUSINESS colored gemman a shine?” TACTICS. Mister CLAYDEN—"* Dar's, yo’ nickle. A FOOT-BALL TERM, “A touchdown.” chamber off on you. It was foolish to telegraph for rooms any way ; there are always rooms enough in a big hotel, and a two-dollar room is plenty good enough for us,and if you've got any money to waste you'd better give it to me and I'l save it for you. I'm afraid, now, we'll miss that train, and if we do welll have to ride back to the house (in the horse-cars, mind you) and wait till the ten-forty-five, and in that case we can get something put up at the house and save buying sandwiches, Here's the depot. Is my hat on straight? Are you sure you've got the tickets all right?" At the hospital the surgeon-in- charge looked grave, shook his head sadly, and leaving the bedside of the unconscious bridegroom whispered to the nurse, "I am afraid there is but small hope for him; he has married a widow,” T'se glad I ast yo' price "fo I did centa.” bizness wiv yer, ‘cos de dago nex’ do’ wouldn’ do de job fo" less dan a quartah.”* comicbooks.com