Judge — February 3, 1894 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DEACON RANDOLPH’S PHILOSOPHY. S¢YVHAD dat I see hangin’ up in yo" room tied ta "asked Deacon Randolph the other str morning. “Dat's a grabe-yard rabbit's foot dat I borrered frum Mose Jackson t’ change mah luck,” replied the heir-apparent in an awed , You'se tryin’ t’ change yo" luck, hey?” said the deacon. “P'r‘aps yo' wear dat rabbit's foot round ef for it! P'raps ef yo" hab dat in yo" pocket de policy- sharks will maik special gigs in yo" favor! Hol’ it in yo’ han’ while yo" bet yo" week's salary on a mud-hoss an’ a wooden jockey an’ yo’ surely scoop de mutuals! Ef de favorites ain’ pulled dey'll all drop dead in de stretch out ob respec’ fur dat grabe-yard rabbit's foot. Go ‘long wiv yo"! Ef yo" start a skin-game ob yo'r own an’ gib away a souve- nir grabe-yard rabbit's foot or a cross-eyed bull-dog t’ebery fool dat patronize yo’ jint den yo’ show as much genius as Pat Sheedy; but now I see dat you'se one ob dem fellers dat's born ebery minute.” =e “ How shell I git dem oranges? — Tom (the bootblack, to his friend below)—" Mol" yer bre't’ dere, Patsy; hol"’yer bre't’! : THE JUDGE JUDGMENTS. NO ODE has any right toa habit. Face a situation and you are three-quarters master of it. A morbid sensitiveness is an exaggerated form of egotism. As with a boil, the best place for a practical joke is on somebody else, ‘A negro who has wool growing in the palm of his hand will not steal. “See Venice” or eat toadstools “and die"; it really matters not which, We need rainy days; they compel pauses. The story of life needs punctuation. In the matter of explanation by letter it is far better to walk a line than to write a mile, Up to thirty a man should marry a wife younger than himself; after that it matters little. If your“ Mary Ann has a beau and is permitted to receive him she will let you enjoy yourself in many ways. It takes a life-time of experience to teach us that we are our own best friend; that we are our own worst enemy we never learn. The man who always “speaks what he thinks” usually thinks “darn,” and the woman who always tells the truth tells cight unpleasant ones out of every ten, on an average. TRUE BENEVOLENCE. HATTED and coated in styles of France : Is the dude by those whom he pays but badly, While I for nothing, had I the chance, Would collar and cuff and cane him gladly. THE INSIDE VIEW. Primus—You belong to the Tiptop club, don’t you?” Secundus—"Yes; it's the big- gest club in the city Primus—"Why is its mem- bership so much larger than that of ANOTHER YOUNG NAPOLEON. orhers 22 ‘ Secundus— Oh, it's so exclu- If I make dis ‘shot I'se goin’ on de stage. sive, you know. —Dis "ll fotch ‘em, — DUSKY YOUTH AND THE LONGED-FOR ORANGES, — Dery fine fruit; ery fine!" comicbooks.com