Judge — January 27, 1894 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A CO) PROMINENT CANDIDATE (‘o senographer)—"' Now, then, Sadie, take down my letter of acceptance. Are you ready? STENOGRAPHER (interrupting) —""Isn't that wrong?” PROMINENT CANDIDATE (has- tily)—"* You're right, Sadie; you always are right, Make it gents.” IT WAS HER TRUMP. Avoustus being too nerv- ous for city life, his father sent him out west to make a man of himself, Having utilized his opportunities and made ar- rangements to be married he sends the news to his old com- panions and adds, “We're to live with Azalia’s mother, and I inclose her card.” It was the ten of clubs. RAISED A PET. Pater—"My son, foot-ball is so dangerous I can’t let you play on your college team.” Filius— But Vil take the part of least danger if you say so.” Pater —"Very well. You can be the pig-skin.” JUDGE NOISY. NOYES joined an artitiery corps. He was fond of the loud cannon’s rorps; And at night when he'd dream He really would seem To enjoy his own thunderous snorps. SUFFERING SYMPATHY. - JACKY. stole one of his father's - best conchas the other day. It \ A byl seemed manly, but when his father \ \ ‘ came home at noon he found Jacky \\ : in the wood-shed braced against a \\\\ tub, with his jaws hanging down and his complexion bad. “Why, sonny!" said the loving “THE RACE FOR WEALTH.” parent, “ what's the matter?” “Oh, our teacher's awful sick to-day!” cried Jacky. “You don't mean it!” exclaimed the father. “Well, my son, don’t feel so bad; she'll get well.” ‘Then he went in-doors and winked at Jacky’s mother and handed BR EC TION: her a silver dollar. “Give it to Jack,” said he, “when he gets over “Gentlemen of the Democratic’ "—— feeling sorrowful. There’s stuff in the child.” “That's what I thought,” Mesa, said Jacky’s mother. ~e A LOST POEM. WITH slender dripping oars at rest They floated down the river, I watched them while o'er cliff and crest The moon began to quiver. Alas! why did he mar the scene Slapping at gnats and midges, Spoiling the poem that might have been s By MADELINE & naIDGRS? LOTS OF ZONES. A HIGH-SCHOOL BOY up in Manitoba says there are four zones where he is **at"— the frigid, the horrid, the tem- perate and the intemperate. CAUSE AND EFFECT. DIMe-MUSEUM PROPRIETOR—'Dere ain't no use talkin’ Mugsey. You went an’ voted de Demmecrat ticket las’ year, now dat Wilson bill goes an’ puts old bones on de free list. have to cut your salary fifteen per cent. or close de show.” IT DID. the post-office in Moosejaw the other day and asked, LONG-WAYS-FROM-HOME southern darkey called at Ty “ Does dis yere pos'-orfis keep stamped antelopes ?” IN THE HOOL TEACHER—'‘ Now, Robby, where did Adam get * Where de chicken got ANOTHER AMERICAN NOBLEWOMAN. Mr. Sasszrrras —'' Whaffoh yo’ dun lef yo' daughtah marry dat ornery, wall-eyed, bow-legged niggah, Yallerby?” Neck Mn. VALLERBY (indignantly) —"Whad yo! talkin’ ‘bout, yo" fool - niggah?. Dat am Count Lilliapotato, fo'teent’ cuzzen ob Lill Kalie, queen ob Hawaii, he am. It dun cos’ me fo'ty dollahs t’ pay his debts, ‘sides de fo'teen dollahs I settled on de gal. Whad yo’ talkin’ de axe." "bout ?” comicbooks.com