Judge — January 13, 1894 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE GERMAN BAND. ‘The German band, in the noonday heat, Stopped on a corner of the street: Birkenbeimer and Mederwurst, With cornets under their arms, were first ; Next Schmidt with a clarionet that shone; ‘Then Hans von Beck with a great trombone, While after them there would always come Little Dutch Fritz with his big bass drum ; And as the gathering crowd he eyed Birkenheimer, the leader, cried, * Ein—zwei—drei—so! Vier—fOnf—led her go! Then woompety-woompety-woomp they went, And folks, wherever they took their stand, Would always say, when they heard them play, There was nothing to equal the German nd. Windows flew open at the sound, And rollicking children waltzed around. ‘The organ-grinder across the way Fled with his monkey in wild dismay. Wagner and Meyerbeer’s pleasing tones Mingled with those of Smith and Jones. Cheeks swelled to cracking and eyes popped out As bars of music were put to rout. ‘They gasped a moment for breath, and then Birkenheimer cried out again, ** Ein—zwei—drei—so! Vier—fnf—led her go!” Then bingety-bingety-bing they went, And folks, wherever they took their stand, Would always say, when they heard them play, There was nothing to equal the German and. Mrs. Alderman Hogan from her flat ‘Threw down a dime when they passed the hat ; But Mrs. Rafferty ne'er gave a cent, For it was the day she paid her rent. The little Rooneys, who shared alike Ina copper, the gift of their Uncle Mike, Whispered something and then began ‘Yo look for the hoky-poky man ; And Birkenheimer, who shook his head While counting the proceeds, once more said, ** Ein—zwei—drei—so! Vier—ftnf—led her go!" Then bangety-bangety-bang they went, ‘And folks, wherever they took their stand, Would always say, when they heard them play, ‘There was nothing to equal the German band. —S¢, Nicholas, Attendant (Mrs. Jarley’s wax-works, London) * This, ladies and gentlemen, his ha life-like representation hof the Hinglish ‘gentleman who | went to the world’s fair hat Chicago, traveling the hentire distance from New York to Chicago without being ‘eld up by ‘ighwaymen, remain- ing in Chicago two weeks without being robbed, hand returning to New York without being killed hin ha railway haccident."—New York Weekly. Mrs, Winstow’s Sorina Syrup for Chil- dren Teeth oothes the child, softens the gums, allays ail pain, cures wind colic and diar- theea. 25 cents a bottle. The hurryup drew up to the box, where a iceman held a man who was to be given a ree ride. When the officer who made the arrest was helping the prisoner up the steps of the wagon one of his brother officers inquired of him, ‘A case of intoxication, Tom?” The “case” spoke up and said, ‘No, Mr. Officer; T'm drunk."— Boston Herald. Everybody has a good word for Dr. Bull's Cough Syrup. Its fame is world-wide. ‘The maid was mad and a frown she wore When her mother reproved her with rigid air; And as she dared not bang the door She went up-stairs and banged her hair, —New York Press. VALUABLE BUT NOT COSTLY. Tt_may save you a great deal.of trouble in cooking. Try it, We refer to the Gail Borden | first-class cordials on the market. The New York Christian Advocate adds to the anecdotes about General Washington by telling how, when he was once visiting in Con- necticut, he took a pair of twins upon his lap and sang to them the whole of the song known as the ‘Derby Ram.” One verse was as fol- lows: The wool upon his back, si It reached unto the sky And eagles built their nests there, For I heard their young ones cry. | It is clear that in his mature years Washington wasn't as great a stickler for the truth as when he was engaged in the wood-chopping business. Rochester Herald, The old reliable firm, M: Brizard & Roger, established for a century and a half. The only For sale everywhere. T. W. Stommler, Union square, New | York. The girls of Radcliffe college (formerly Har- vard’s Ann X ) have no yell yet, but if some- body should spring a mouse on them the yell would invent itself.— Philadelphia Ledger. Mental exhaustion and brain fatigue Promptly cured by Bromo-Seltzer. “Lam very much afraid,” said the good old parson as he was admonishing his flock, ** that unless you mend your ways some of you, when Gabriel blows his trumpet. will come out at the little end of the horn."—Rochester Democrat. Little Ethel —"* What is these anarchist peo- ple talkin’ about?" Littl Johnny—"* Why, they wants everything everybody else has got, an’ they never wash theirselves.” Little Ethel— “Oh, I see. They is little boys growed up.” —Good News. James Whitcomb Riley will disappoint his lovers if he tries to be anything else than what nature and life's experiences have made him, We do not want a classic Riley. We want a plain, homely, sadly humorous yet cheerily phil- osophical Riley, stumbling along amid sweet things, scattering untamed flowers, passing up viands with wondrous flavors the classic cooks know nothing about. It is the Riley who lets us into an uncultivated fairy-land where the flowers are.not in set rows and the birds are not wheeling in right-dressed platoons and com- panies and doing their do-re-mi after the meth- ods of the choir-master. We want to sojourn there, We do not want the flowers set into pots, the birds caged and given singing-lessons. No, no. Mr. Riley! You are just as we want you. You can't write like Alexander Pope. You write much better so far as wholesome effect on mankind is concerned. Don't try to get into a strait-jacket. Just keep on your comfortable fluttering robes. Just slosh round, free-and-easy like, as nature intended, —Elmira Gazette. A GENTLEMAN'S SMOKE. WE COULD ROT IMPROVE THE QUALITY if paid double the price. It is the Mr, Bowell did not go to Honolulu to coax Miss Stowe of Omaha, who wanted to that amiable city under the British flag, Sir! change her name that she might the more easily John Thompson says, but only because he felt! win literary fame, didn’t want to tread on Har- ‘Sorry for the imperfect trade relations between | riet Beecher Stowe We've heard of Bowells of the two countries. compassion before. —Chicago Times. New York World. As a specific against dyspepsia and as an appetizer, also for mixing in drinks, nothing is For bougoet, purity and healthfulness Coos's| superior. to BOKER'S BITTERS, renowned Extra Dry Imperial Champagne has no rival, | since 1828. It is splendid with a dinner. diploma and medal, Columbian exposition. The Mohammedan is taught, it is said, that in the future state he-will have twelve hundred It is not stated whether that is to be wives. the condition of the blessed or the other kind, Highest award, With reference to the implacable fury of Mrs, -John O'Dominis against the provisional government of the islands it might be asked, “Hawaii do the heathen rage ?”—£lmira Ad- vertiser, Ambassador Bayard attributes Senator Hoar's but twelve hundred wives would make it pret- | attack on him to the lack of something to talk ty torrid for a man anywhere.— Philadelphia | about. Ledger. ‘The guaranteed cure for all headaches is Bromo-Seltzer—Trial bottle, 10 cts. Mrs, Gougar dramatically asked, ‘' Would He most certainly would not, but the records show that fan't have been, a prohibitionist either. Christ have been a saloon-kegper 7" he wou —Chicago Mail. Just THREE DOLLARS is all it will cost you this month for the Cosmopolitan and Good Housekeeping one year each. cure these two publications for one sum, send this month THREE Di GOOD HOUSEKEEPING, Springfield, Mass. for that LLARS to Rather say it was due to his inability to keep his face quiet.— Minneapolis In these days of progress the BEST is just good enough for a buyer who pays his honest Dollars. Among Pianos the BEST is the 195 B, sath St WO Neer Vore. 1108 Olive Str St. Lous Mo. fabash Ave, 37 Giicre: WILLIAMS? SHAVING STICK. The | ather NEVER DRIES ON THE FACE, | Your Dru keeps it. Will ] Fl you try it? It costs the same as others. We think it worth a great ji The wife—* How did you dare, sir, to scold The husband— “Well, you know, Maria, I daren't scold you me before Mrs. Brown?” deal more. 25¢. at all Drug Stores. Train-robber—"* Come, shell out!" Rural when we are by ourselves."— ate Field's | minister (sadly)—"' If 1 had such energetic fel- Washington, ~ BLONDEAU’S “VINOLIA” CREAM. Edito ‘+ For acne spots on the face, and_particu- larly for eczema, it is undoubtedly efficacious, frequently pimples in a few days. once.” Baby” reports : Guaranteed harmless. OF all druggists, 50c. per box, or direct, BLONDEAU ET CIE, 73 Watts St., New York. healing eruptions and removing Itching relieved at lows as you to pass the plate now and thea I might have something to give you."—New York Weekly. A BETTER COCKTAIL AT HOME THAN IS SERVED OVER ANY BAR IN THE WORLD. The Club . Roektails MANHATTAN, MARTINI, WHISKY, HOLLAND GIN, TOM CIN and VERMOUTH. We guarantoo theso Cocktails to be made of abso- lately pureand well matured Hquors, and the mizing equal to the best cocktails served over any bar in the world; being com- pounded inaccurate proportions, they will always be found of uniform President Cleveland has quit giving offices to Marylanders, but he might at least show a little neighborly feeling by coming over int Maryland and shooting at a few ducks.—Balti- more American, choicest Smoking Tobacco that ex Eagle Brand Condensed Milk, regarded by| (perience can produce or that m i) most housekeepers as absolutely essential in| \ culinary uses and unsurpassed in coffee. All grocers and druggists sell the Eagle brand. quallty, and, blend- ing thoronghly, are superior to those _ mixed as wanted. ‘We prefer you should buy of yourdealer. If he does not keep them we will send a selection of four bottles, prepaid, for $6.00. G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., propietore, 0 Broadway, ¥, Y., Hartford, Conn., and 20 Piccadilly, W. London, Eng. ta For sale by all Druggiste and Dealers Buys and sells Bills of Exchange on all parts of the world. GENTLEMEN! Don't suffer longer with imperfect and Unrelable Covtae Burionts "A pesta ard will bring you a circular describing “The Bened(ct?? patent. Juoce in- Jdorses it as the best. Made in both solid BENEDICT “BAOS, 171 Broadway, W. Y. Cy. LEWIS G. TEWKSBURY, BANKER, 50 Broadway, New York, Since his interview with Chauncey M. Depew Pope Leo XIII. has not been well, Chauncey's statement that he (the pope) was nine months older than Mr. Gladstone probably gave his holiness “that tired feeling,” from which, let us hope, he will speedily recover.— Exchange. ST AIST SST LEST IST BST AIST BST BST BST LT ESET TET IS OSS | = Somichookeiccr