Judge — January 13, 1894 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EVERYTHING COMING HIS’ WAY. SAVED. S MILDRED PEN- DASH looked up in- to the face of her lover a glad light shone in her mured joyously as she clasped his hand tenderly in hers, “I have such a good piece of news for you!" “ What is it, my own?” he asked, playfully putting back the tortoise - shell hairpin that had almost escaped from her auburn hair, “I have been cal- culating, all day long,” she said joyously, “and I think, dear, that after we are married I can, by strict economy and good management, bring my gowns down to an average of sixty-five dollars and sixty-seven cents each” ‘Two hours later there might have been heard hurrying through the well- nigh deserted streets of the great city the wheels of an ambulance, and as the solitary occupant raised himself feebly on his elbow the light of a great joy shone in his pale and emaciated face. “Thank heaven,” he muttered, “that I learned the truth ere it was too late!” VERY PLAUSIBLE. Mother—* Why, Johnny, how is this? It is past seven-o'clock. I told you to come in when the street-lamps were lighted.” Johnny —* Well, mamma, they are lighted.” THE POET AND HIS WIFE T'S not for better, but for worse, He took her, I infer; Because the girls he loves in verse No way resemble her. THE BEST POLICY. Mother — Here, Arthur, is the ten cents I promised you for being vacci- nated.” Arthur— Just give me a nickel, mamma, It only hurt half as much as I thought it would.” PITIFUL. KIND-HEARTED MAN —" What are you crying about, little boy ?* City AnaAB—"'T lost a pocket-book.”* coM MERCIAL COURTESY. Simxins Waypack —"* Don’t you think there is a little too much cloth in the back 2” SamuEL Levy—" Vell, if dere is I vouldn’t ask you any Mose. (the butcher's dog)— an’ snap a piece out of his leg, j A RULLY'S, 10 sneak up behind that dude setter WATERLOO, Wicates (a tramp) Mos. (speaking thie dlown mean iron dogs fer lawns,” ing extra.” KIND-HEARTED MAN —"* How much was in it?” City ARan—"‘T don't know, That feller took it out of your pocket just as I was going to get it!" “WHAT SHALL IT PROFIT?” THE man that is panctual always Should be esteemed ; but then ‘Think of the time he is wasting In waiting for other men. PRIVATE INFORMATION. Sunday-school teacher —"And the dead arose from their graves and ap- peared to many "— Undertaker's small daughter (giggling) —“* Then they must have looked awful funny. You know the shrouds only go half-way ‘round.” “ACCORDING .TO. FOREIGN CORRESPONDENTS. ON THE horizon of Europe's sky ‘The clouds of war still linger ; On Sunday ‘tis a giant's hand — Monday his little finger. UNANSWERABLE. Mr. Thomkins (to. wile of his bosom)—“After all, my dear, woman was an after-thought. You remember Eve was only a side-issue.” yer do it?” Tried to, but got left. It's one 0° those low- x ‘The Germa: Stopped on Birkenheime With cornet Next Schmi Then Hans While after Little Datel And as the Birkenheim * Ei And foll Would alwa There v band Windows f And rolick e organ Fled with f Wagner an Mingled wi Cheeks swe As bars of | ‘Then binge ‘And fol Would alv: ‘There \ banc Mrs. Alder Threw dow But Mrs. I For it was The little | In a coppe Whispered ‘To look fo And Birker While cour ire Vv Then bang And fo Would alw There ban Attenda —" This, | representat went to th the hentire without be ing in Chic hand retu killed hin Weekly, Mrs, W dren Teet! gums, alla thea. 25 The bu policeman free ride. arrest was the wagon of him, “ “case” sf I'm drunk Everybs Cough Sy The maid VAI Tt may cooking. Eagle Br most hou culinary u grocers ar older tha holiness * us hope, | LEV comicbooks.com