Judge, 1893-12-30 · page 7 of 17
Judge — December 30, 1893 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humor pieces satirizing late 19th-century American life: **"An Unfamiliar Weapon"** mocks frontier violence—a cowboy surrenders to a camera rather than a gun, suggesting photography's growing power and the "taming" of the Wild West. **"A Useful Adjunct"** is dark humor about hotel fire safety: a guest notices a rope in a tenth-story room meant for escaping fires, then cynically observes it's convenient for suicide instead. **"Mr. Goldgrabber et al."** stereotypes German-American immigrants through dialect humor. Goldgrabber attends a Tammany Hall political meeting where various military officers bore him with speeches until midnight. When his wife scolds him for staying out drinking, he comically threatens to get drunk just to spite her—satirizing both marital discord and ethnic caricature. The bottom panels mock Christmas sentimentality and theatrical fraud. The satire targets urban American society: immigrant communities, corrupt city politics (Tammany Hall), domestic conflict, and commercialism—typical Judge magazine concerns of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN UNFAMILIAR WEAPON, Konak FigND—"' Stand still one moment, please.” Cueroxer Sam (scared to death)—""1 give in, stranger. them durn machine-guns before.” HOW ABOUT THIS? THERE'S nothing new beneath the sun, they say (A statement that you've doubtless heard be- fore); But then is not the world on New-year's day With newest resolutions bubbling o'er? A USEFUL ADJUNCT. Guest (tenth story)—* Porter, what's this rope coiled up in the corner for?” Hotel-porter— Dat’s fo" use in, case ob fiah, sah.” Guest (alter a logk out of the window to the sidewalk) —“ Oh, Lise. Very.conyenient, If a man objects to being burned to a he can hang himself.” ANOTHER PHILANTHROPIST THWARTED, *¢CLD HOBBS'S last will disinherts all his expectant, nephew: ““Of course they are crest-fallen? >” “No; ithey are going to try to break it. “On what ground 2” “On the ground of undue influence. The doctors told him. he was going. to die before he had made “it.” The plot. MR. GOLDGRABBER ET AL. I've heerd tell 6 VENT down to Tammany hall lasd nighd to a meeding,” said Mr. Goldgrabber to the friendly cop ‘A THEATRICAL BUNCO, ~s Mr. Crirrens (before the curtain rises) —* Say, mis- ter, L want my money back. . This bill of fare'sez tha il be'a lapse o' two months tween th’ fourth an’ last acts, an" T'll be darned ef I'll pay my fare clean frum Bolton Notch agin fer th’ last act ; so shell out.” 2 A CHRISTMAS TRAGEDY. The plotter. the other morning as he nursed a large lump on the back of his head where amativeness ought to be. “Vell,” he continued, “dere vas a gread time. A colonel frum Missouri, he speags, und den a major frum Georgia, he speags, und afder him a sheneral frum Lousiana, he speags, und dey vind up mit a rear-admiral fram Alabama, und he speags, und py dot time id vas eleven o’clog, und 1 hardly dare go home, und a frient say, ‘Mr. Goldgrabber, come into Kearns’s und ged a nighdcap'; und I say, ‘No; id vould do me no good.’ Und vhen I ged home my vife she yell und she say, ‘Vhere you been dot you ged so.drung you can‘d valk shtraigd und she call me a loafer und a tief und some- digg else, and I ged no shleep all nighd. Py crachious! I pelieves .somedimes, if peesness geds bedder preddy quig, dot I vill go off und ged drung und shpend a tollar:to ged even mit her.” And with an air of desperation Mr. Goldgrabber went inside and let a cus- tomer: beat -him down from a dollar to sixty- cight cents on a half-dollar shirt. FINEST IN THE LAND. a PETERBY a good thinker?” “ He never indulges in anything but a Pullman vestibule train of thought.” Plotted. comicbooks.com