Judge — December 30, 1893 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NOT SO ARTISTIC, BUT— Van Bibber, the poet, used to ‘ ae i +4 But he is married now, UNDER THE MISTLETOF. wear his hair like this. Hx—" Did I but dare, what bliss were SHB—"* The stupid chump, to stand and THE NEW-YEAR’S PRIZE POEM. <PBigieen tncae towels ga UiviSet As though his feet were planted Of more truth than poetry, ° Pd L bet rete vine there. [8 THE blazing heat of summer planned a poet, and his plan promised The stupid chump!" profitable pleasure to an impecunious man could he meet the hard conditions which the editor had made to control ambitious poets in the practice of OFF AND ON. their trade. ON, a . “We want a New-year's poem,” wrote WHEN New-year’s day arrived be the editor, wrote he; ‘and to gain the earnestly prize we offer for the poem it may be long or short, or grave or merry, as the poet- man may choose ; but original it must be Swore off, and felt as happy as a don, Next day he slipped on ice and broke his : or it won't be any use.” nee, Now a poet may be skillful in the use | And then he just swore on and on of charming tricks, whereby familiar fan- and on. cies he delightfully can fix in a dress of thyme and rhythm quite enchanting ; but the bard who must think out thoughts himself will find his occupation hard. Which is why the needy poet through the blazing summer heat toiled, despond- 5 ing lest the task should prove too great a Ova i mental feat—struggled in an awful effort H for a single unthought thought which had | i never by another been to New-year’s music Vig’ > wrought—struggled vainly till, defeated, | with a bitter irony he sent the editor -as follows in the form of poetry : BACK TO EARTH AGAIN. Snooper—\ don’t like New-year's as well as Christmas. Sunway —"1 don't either, for SS i New-year’s comes at the first of the AY AS month and brings the monthly ac- RAG he QA counts with THE PROSPECT. NEW hopes, new aspirations, new de- lights, New debts, new tslbelatjons’ and new And behold the strange result that made ills ; the poet's heart grow gay and yielded him New accidents, new quarrels and new a recompense without the least delay! fights; “Your poem" (said the letter which in- New fears, new noises and new doc- tors’ bills. NO DOUBT HE DID, Spatts—"I'm going to watch the old year out, Miss Flypp.” Miss Flypp—' think you need watching more than the old year does.” closed the ample check) ‘*is the sole com- peting poem which ‘tis justice to select. For alas! there was no other that was ab- solutely free from echo of some bygone thought, some stolen old idee—the only one of thousands that distressed our weary eyes with no warmed-over sentiments, and $0 you won the prize.” Moral, To New-year’s bards the moral is as plain as plain can be—Who writes no | words alone commits no crime of plagiary. MKS. GEORGE ARCHINALD, A MYSTERY EXPLAINED. Giles —" How did Cobwigger come to fill up his diary in three days?” TO FATHER TIME. | . ee HOUGH sad enough my days, in truth, | seats WHAT THEY WANTED. T . Score —" ie batt a bad anid ae Lapies—* Oh, Tom ! we want to sit and watch you unbitch.” ech coe, would be a mirth-dey | he began copying down the sure cures at" All right.” If I but could renew my youth, his friends gave him.” 2, What they got. Like you, upon each birthday. OUT OF SIGHT, One winter's night a love-sick youth An hour passed quickly by, and then I never saw them more, although Sat near a winsome miss ; I looked in on their bliss T thought I heard a'kiss ; And as I now recall the truth And found those chairs removed had been For when I looked again, oho! ‘Their chairs were just like this, And now were just like this, ‘Those chairs were just like this, comicbooks.com