Judge — December 30, 1893 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Evelyn—"* How did you like the sermon, ? Aunt Sarah—"Aw, fudge! It was sassiety sermon"—— _ Evelyn—* What! on nanksgiving 7” Aunt Sarah—"* Sartinly! He tched inter ‘people who are stuck up, an’ sake o' the poor, hungry chillun o° Israel who cked up ‘manners’ by the way"—— Eve- /n—And you didn't enjoy our city minister ca?” Aunt Sarah—"Naw! 1s glad when hs pronounced the malediction."— Cleveland Vain Dealer, Mrs, Winstow's Soornin Syrup for Chil- cren Teething ; soothes the child, softens the ums, allays ail pain, cures wind colic and diar- rheea, 25 cents a bottle, Minister Willis says he ‘‘ went to Hawaii to set." This may be a valuable hint to the eight thousand American actors who are said to be out of employment now,—Chicago Dispatch. “* Men are queer creatures, but kindness will win them.” “How do you mean?” ‘* Well, Ltried to break John of smoking by objecting all the time to it. I found that did no good, and then I just bought cigars myself and brought them home to him, and he stopped right away.""—/nter-Ocean. TOO MANY to print; that is why we never use testimonial: in our advertising. We are constantly recei ing them from all parts of the world, accom- panied with photographs of beautiful babies. ‘The Gail Borden Eagle Brand Condensed Milk is the best infant's food. Fond parent—"*Ves, Bobby; the angel of death passed over the houses and smote the first-born of each Egyptian family.” Bobby (after a moment's s ‘op. what did the angel do when it was twins?"— Harlem Life. William Hecker, a strong man of Augusta, Georgia, can move'a freight car with his teeth, What a’ reputation a jaw like that would win {or its owner in the line of professional pugil- ism!—Philadelphia Ledger. For sick, nervous and neuralgic headache use ‘The sure cure—Bromo-Seltzer. “All T want, madam," said the poor man at the door, ‘is a place to lie™ Lady— “Then get a government commission and strike for Honolulu." —Buffalo Courier. No more acceptable Christmas gift could be made than a bound volume of the Century Alagazine covering the period of the world’s fair. The Century company have had a very artistic cloth cover made for this volume, en- hancing its beauty as a gift. Bound volumes of the S¢ Nicholas for 1893 are also desirable and instructive holiday presents for the young people of the family. Somebody has been collecting the opinions of a number of prominent men as to the best ways of avoiding worry. The really efficacious plan, as discovered at the time of the Greek Philosophers, is not to be born,— Chicago Record. Ask your grocer for Cook's Extra Dry Im- perial Champagne, Once used, no other will Its bouquet is delicious. Highest award, diploma and medal, Columbian exposition. “You may twim me mustache—aw,” said Gilley to the barber, ‘Yes, sir,” replied the latter." Did you bring it with you?”—Breok- dyn Life, When the first Napoleon gave an elaborate banquet at Versailles it was always topped off bya Marie Brizard & Roger cordial. They are still on sale, and the quality never changes. vag, W- Stemmler, Union square, New York, Farmer's wife —"'V'l pay you with a good dinner if you'll saw that pile of wood.” Kam- bling Raiph—* Oh, mum, 1 can't do that. I'm a amatoor. It's them professionals that's ruin- in’ athletics." —Princefon Tiger. JUST THINK OF IT! After January 1st, 1894, by taking the Rich- mond and Danville’s limited for Florida, you can leave New York at 4.30 p.m. and take din- ner in Jacksonville next evening. Write to Alexander S. Thweatt, eastern passenger agent, P.O. box 1287, New York city, for informa tion regarding the new route. Editor of “ Baby ” reports “For ache-spots on the face it is undoubtedly efficacious, fre- quently removing pimples ina few days. It relieves itching at once.’ Of all good druggists, or direct, so cts. per box. BLONDEAU ET CIE, 73°77 Watts St., New York. By permission of The Hackney. Nothing more humorous and at the same time more handsome than the Christmas num- ber of JunGE. has ever been published in this country nor, for that matter, in any other.— Mail and Express. GENTLEMEN! Don't suffer longer with imperfect and unreliable CoLtar Buttons. A postal card will bring you a circular describing “The Renediet?? patent. Junce ine dorses it as the best. Made in both solid Id and sitver. BENEDICT “BROS, 171 Broadway, N. Y. city. THE SOFT CLOW OF ‘The tea rose is acquired by ladies who use Pozzoni's Complexion Powder, Try it, zoth Edition, postpaid for ase. (or stamps), THE HUMAN HAIR, Why it Falls Off, Turse Gray. and the Remedy. By PROF. HARLEY PARKER, F-R, A. Lone & Con tory Arch Sts Phladeipbia: Pa, “very one should read this litle book.” thenaruon, ‘You will get more prompt attention and better service by mentioning Jvpom when answering advertisements A little girl in an up-town Sunday-school asked her teacher if Gabriel played cards. On being told he did not she asked, ‘Then what does Gabriel's trump mean?"— Philadelphia | Record, Plenty of sleep is conducive to beauty. Even atall hat looks worn when it loses its nap.— Yankee Blade, For steady nerves and good sleep use Bromo-Seltzer. Contains no anti-pyrine. good many times.” "Just twenty-four times. The next will be his’ silver bankruptcy.” — Fliegende Blitter. S Disagreeable though it may be to him, it is still a fact that the chances are against the leg- less man obtaining any sort of foothold in so- ciety.—Exchange. Air-cushions and patent bumpers have be- come suddenly popular for hip-pocket wear.— Pittsburg Dispatch, The man who does not work himself works | other people.—Oi! City Blissard. In these days of progress the BEST is just good enough for a buyer who pays his honest Dollars. Among Pianos the BEST is the tarags Bs tath St, New York. ‘The Mexican revolution does not appear to 1108 Olive Street, St. Louis, Mo. be big enough to go round,—Boston Trans- cript. seb aia Post Street, Wakely —" Why, at one time I could have | bought the most valuable property in the cit |for'a mere song.” The crowd —"* Why didn't you buy it?” “Wakely —"' I couldn't sing."— Elmira Gazette, But one thing is lacking to make Senator Peffer a useful man, If he had a wooden leg he could by virtue of his hirsute appendages be used as window-cleaner.—Chicago Mail, The F&M. ow og Special Brew “Your neighbor appears to have failed a 31 people, are its strength, richness and fullness Schaefer Some people think that it is Claus Spreckels who has been raising cane over in Hawaii. This is mere Spreckelation.— Zrey Press. ‘As a specific against dyspepsia and as an appetizer, also for mixing in drinks, nothing is superior to BOKER'S BITTERS, renowned since 1828. ‘The Sohmer piano is a wonderful instrument, and will undoubtedly take the lead throughout the musical world. Its principal qualitie: which have so excited the admiration of musi of tone, possessing a light action, delightfully flexible’ to the touch, suitable for either the concert-room or parlor, With these combined qualities its destiny to become the most popular instrument in the world is assured. WILLIAMS? SHAVING STICK. 91 Million. The consumption of WILLIAMS’ Shaving Stick in 1891 was sufficient for over 21,000,000 shaves, No shaving stick equalsit. By reason |] ett its wonderful richness, cool, heal- ij jualities, it is now being used by |] arly all who prefer soap in stick j form: Have you tried WILLtAMs? ? Beloved —* Why, what a time to be calling ! It’s half-past nine. | The lights are out at te: Lover—" Just like me. I'm always early. Detroit Tribune, Brewing Co.’s _ Holiday s On Draught at all Customers. Bottled at the Brewery for Family, Hotel and Export Trade, Sale by alt A Better Cocktail absolutely pare and well matured I ) he does not at Home ‘THAN 18 SERVED OVER ANT BAR Dt THE WORLD. _ She Club Coektails MANHATTAN, MARTINI, WHISKY HOLLAND GIN, TOM GIN and VERMOUTH ‘We guaranteo these Cocktails to be mado of juora, and the mix to the best cocktalls served Grer any Barn the world’ being compounded ~fn acourate proportions. they, will always bo found of uniform quality, ‘und, blending thor: ‘oughly, are superior to those mixed as wanted. We prefer you should buy of your dealer. If seep them we will send a selection of four bottles, prepald, for 84.00. 6, F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole Prop’s. 30 BROADWAY, N. Yo) HARTFORD, COMM. and 20 PICCADILLY, W. LONDON, ENG. For Druggtsts ‘and Dealers. LEWIS G. 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