Judge, 1893-12-23 · page 3 of 16
Judge — December 23, 1893 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical vignettes typical of Judge magazine's format. **"Fools Rush In"** (top): A social comedy about a woman who appears overly forward with a man, with the punchline that "John Smith, who is not a poet" acted decisively—suggesting working-class pragmatism versus romantic pretension. **"Comfort from the Conductor"**: A woman discovers her husband was left behind at a station. The conductor's cruel "comfort" is that she'll reach Chicago in three hours and can find another husband—dark humor about marital disposability. **"A Fatal Objection"** and **"What We Are Coming To"**: Congressional satire about senators discussing budget matters and religious services (filibustering prayers). **"Selfish Anticipation"** (bottom): Appears to mock lower-class women's materialistic gossip about clothing and social status. These are disconnected jokes rather than cohesive political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“FOOLS RUSH IN,” ETC, Tue Poet —" How beautiful she looks, standing there beneath the mistle- toe! I will approach her softly, encircle her with my arms, look long and lov- But just then John Smith, who is not a poet, stepped in and did it, ingly into her eyes, and then "—— COMFORT FROM THE CONDUCTOR. THE train had stopped ata station and several men had alighted, as was their custom, to stretch their legs on the platform, and when it started again one of the men, who had trayed a little too far off, was left behind. | In a minute or two there was a loud scream, and a woman rushed up to the conductor and exclaimed excitedly, “ You left my husband behind at that last station.” “Never mind, madam,” replied the official; “calm yourself. We shall be at Chicago in three hours, and then you can get another husband.” “A WOMAN IN THE CASE." A FATAL OBJECTION, +4] CAN'T understand why you engaged your- self to Arthur Hally, who possesses neither good looks nor fortune, when you had your pick of half a dozen rich and handsome fellows.” “The others made me tired, Laura, Arthur was the only one of them who hadn't been to the fair.” WHAT WE ARE COMING TO. First senator (in filty-fifth congress)—" Do you think our minority can talk for two weeks longer?” Second senator—" Yes. The new senator who stammers will consume one week, and after that eens a ae, the chaplain has promised to make filibustering TATTLE, ESE — so. D0anl yo. dally bang up Ge .bote ob dem stockin 6) Ule Y prayers.” Litre Esen—"* Kase ef Santy Clus fills dem fust dey won’ be nuffin lef’ in he’s bag fo’ mah pants!” SELFISH ANTICIPATION. comicbooks.com