Judge — December 23, 1893 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA D8 ADVANCE One copy. one year, or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months. or 26 numbers - 2 so One copy. forty weeks = == ay Including the Cwerstuas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIP: cigm countries im th $6070 THe Jupoe PUBLISHING ComPANY (Jupce bu Cor, Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York. ONS—Teall for tal w DING), Judge’s Comic Almanac for 1894. FIFTY PAGES OF ILLUSTRATIO LUDING TWO IN COLORS. HERS.—The contents of Junce are protected by copy: right in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. VINDICATION—Threats to sue newspapers for libel THIS IS A TARIFF for revenue and perquisites only. EACE AND GOOD WIL but no public money for se tarian schools. THE CHRISTMAS DINN of the Hill snappers will omit the Grace before the bird. ALE MUST FORM a new or- ganization, like the anti-snap- pers, to overcome the tiger. THE MORE you know of the Hawaii business the more you understand what liars men are. WIHIAT THE STOCKING of the Boston girl lacks in cir- cumference it makes up in length. ITH A CONGRESS on its hands the country is more troubled and apprehensive than Mr. Cleveland. HE GOVERNMENT of Italy will presently have to go around with a hand-organ, a monkey and a pint-cup. gen'Iman wot's g: ‘THe KING propah feelin’? Prum Bae “AMftah de ball" “THE Ku content, pervidin’ GOP WILL to Jobn Y. Me- Kane. May he live at the expense of the state for years and years to come. i; MORALS of Queen Lil are too much talked of. vinced that she hasn't a moral to her back. E ARE PAINED to observe that David B. Hill has been under the mistletoe, and totally unnoticed, for the last teu minutes. NATHAN HALE as reported by a school-boy in a hurry—" If Thad a thousand countries I would give them all for my beloved life.” THE WITHDRAWAL of Mr, Van Alen shows th: We feel con- after all, he is a good deal of a man; but we should never have known it if he hadn't disappeared. WOULD DEMOCRACY under William R. Grace be better than itis under Richard Croker? Put the question in your Christmas pipe and smoke it. PRINCE COLONNA, from whom John W. M a divorce, decla out of his wife. fortune ? “s daughter wants ed that he would take the American independence Selfish wretch! Why was he not satisfied with her A JUST MONARCH. c0—" De people ober dar wants fot’ know ef dey kin torture de ine t’ be fricasseed dis ebenin’ ?” Mos’ sut'nly not, yo" brack rascal ! Dat alters de case den, an’ yo’ kin torture lrim t' yo" hearts’ lets me know when de show begins.” A PAINFUL NECESSITY. HE MAIN PURPOSE of the new tariff-builders is to keep as close to McKinley as they dare and at the same time to satisfy the vote for a reduction regardless of the fact that the vote has been largely reconsid- ered. They must do something, and they are sorry for it after the ballot- ing of last November; but they can take this comfort to their misery— ig to be a great deal sorrier than they are. BETTER STOP THAT! HIS 1S A POOR TIME for Satolli or anybody else to attempt to sectarianize the public schools. The new know-nothing organization ‘ought to have no such encouragement, and the Catholic church must ask for nothing that Protestants are unwilling to ask for themselves. Satolli says that Catholic education is the safeguard of the constitution. Dr. MacArthur says that it and patriotism cannot exist together. Between these two extremes stand the people, and a vast majority of them are half inclined to side with Dr, MacArthur. THE MAGAZINE STORY. THE CHRISTMAS MATTER of one of the great magazines consists largely of dialect stories for the celebration of idiocy and facial and general ugliness, The Buffalo Express says this kind of stuff in the magazines reads as if it were “ written around the pictures”; but really it is not written around anything except a desire to be gloomy and peculiar. The dialect of the west and south- west is material for fun and pathos ; but it has been so overworked, and so poorly worked for the most part, that except in rare .cases it nau- seates. A too ardent admiration for Dickens has spoiled some good writers, HIS ROYAL PROCLAMA- TION. THE PRESIDENT has learned the art of talking without say- ing anything, and it does not be- come him as did his courageous utterances during his first adminis tration, His caution, or his diplo- macy, is more than balanced, how- ever, by his assumption of supreme authority in the Hawaii matter, and the calm dignity with which he ig- nores the right of congress to in- formation as to the condition of things in that locality, This is a king, but a very modest, careful king, who has an intense solicitude in behalf of his own authority and a total absence of knowledge as to the authority of the other branches Hain't yo! got enay — of the government. Rut, yo’ highniss, when we kotched him he wuz whustlin’ WHY KILL? ERAL STUDE have recently died of foot-ball; but if one were to go to their graves at midnight he might hear their ghosts whisper that it was nothing, merely a slight accident, a something not likely to occur again, and a trifle in no way reflecting on the noble sport. It takes students of that kind‘to do such fighting and dying, and we doubt if their. pluck perishes after death, however weak their endurance may be. But are these rough-and-tumbles pleasurable or profitable? Is. prize- fighting in one way any better than it is in another? One purpose of the education of a young man is to have him live and bea help 10 his relatives ahd fellow-citizens. MAKE IT A MERRY ONE. HE BROWNIES are shouting for Christmas, and Garner's monkeys are uttering the usual congratulations. The winds are whistling for it, and the tic-tic of the frost proclaims it quietly but all-sufficiently, Such countries as are at war with other countries and with themselves will pause for the brown bird and the steaming pudding, and will speak for peace and good will previous to a resumption of the cannonading. Here the words mean more, for they state the situation notwithstanding the verites and the various other cranks, We have the peace and the good will, and whoso treads upon them shall have his head bruised. There shall be a merry Christmas or the world will know the reason why. comicbooks.com