Judge — December 23, 1893 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MR. GOLDGRABBER ET AL. *6ACH! I vas so mad dis morning dot if dot same feller come py here now, und you vasn'd here, und I had a gun, I vould poind id ad him!” said Mr. Goldgrabber to the friendly cop the other morning as he stood in front of his store. “Dot feller come into de store yesterday morning, und he vas a fine-loogin’ feller—fine. Und he say good-morning, Mr. Goldgrabber, how you vas, und I say goot, und he say id’s a fine morning, Mr. Goldgrabber, und I s: to ged married, M es, und he say I'm going ldgrabber. Ach! says I, id's too bad, sugh a fine-loogin’ feller as you. Nefer you mind, he say, bud led me haf six bair ob silg hose, de besd you god, for my girl. Vell, of course T only have dose twendy-five-cend ladies’ hose, bud I feld so sorry for dot feller goin’ to ged married, dot I only charged him a dollar a bair for dem, und he gif mea ten-dollar bill, und I gif him four dol- lars change, und vhen I ged to de bank de teller he taig a big stamb und he stamb dot bill six times, counderfeit, mit red ink, und I say, vhy do you stamb dot bill, perhabs I could pass id on Hock- heimer. My vife washed dot bill four hours, tryin’ Dwvintry stupenr (breakfasting with his rick aunt)—" Good Go JUDGE to ged dot red ink off id, bud she couldn’ do id. Ach! dot’s de vay id goes! De bank peoble are vorse if anyt'ing dan de bungo-steerers!” And Mr. Goldgrabber went inside and dusted himself off. NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT. *66QO DUMLEY married a rich wife, eh?” “I guess so. The minister interpolated something in the service about the holy bonds and mortgages of matri- mony.” A ROMANCE OF NATURE. [8 THE very early morning came a little breeze from sea To awake the sleeping daisies and to set the sunbeams free. Soft he came, with gentlest footfall, swaying lightly through the air, In precision and decision, drawing every breath with care. Would you know why he was cautious? "Twas because he loved the brook Who was calling she was falling from her little mountain nook. All the echoes still were sleepi he was fearful they would wake And, upleaping, urge her keeping as a captive to the lake. But he reached the place in safety, and in whispered words of love Told his story in the glory of a sunbeam caught above Till the brook her answer rippled, casting up a kiss in spray, And together through the heather they move onward o'er life's way. EVOLUTION FROM A DU- DEEN TO A DUDE, A SUGGESTION. Actress —" I'm tired of divorces. What other good advertisement is there ?” Journalist —* Why don't you try to. get into Sorosis ?” SOMETHING MISSING. Huggins —" Did your fiancée’s Christmas pres- ent please you? Kissam—" It was very fine. She made it her- self, but there seems to be something missing.” Huggins * What?” Kissam—"A diagram explaining its use." IT WOULD BE ONE. Hunker—"1 thought you were g: prise Miss Flypp with her Christmas gift.”" Spatts—"So tam.” Hunker —“Then why did you ask her what she wanted? “NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SON.” TURNING IT OFF. thankful. (Recovering himself —"* for what we are about to receive make us truly comicbooks.com