Judge — October 28, 1893 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A STIMULATING REMEDY. First tramp —"* Dis yer walkin’ ter git straightened up when yer feels rocky is tough. Remedies is allers wuss dan de diseases.” SECOND TRAMP—"* Yes, ‘ceptin’ in snake- bites. HIS DISCOVERY; OR, WHAT HE FOUND. A SHORT STORY BY MISS ETHEL M'MANUS. TWILIGHT was falling. Herbert Me Swazzle stepped upon the porch and got out from under. Marguerita Tubbins was there to greet him, but he seemed not to realize her presence. It was soon evi- dent that he was doing it on purpose. “Oh, speak to me!" she cried. “No,” he answered resolutely shall not. From this tims forth you shall hear me keeping silence.” “Oh, ciel! what have I done to de- serve this? “What have you done?” he repeated scornfully. “What have you not done?" JUDGE “I did; but now there is perfidy in your face.” “No,no! What- ever else I may have done I have never used that or any- thing else. My complexion is my own,” He laughed hoarsely; so hoa ly that she_ pitied him and handed him a cough-drop. “Tt is well that I discovered this before our marriage," he muttered with clinched teeth. “Discovered what?” she asked with visible emotion; for she was easily moved, was Marguerita Tubbins—so easily moved that she had long since ceased to trust herself on roller-skates. After a minute's emotion she repeated BARRED OUT. Rosamonp—"' Ob course, Mirabeau, I is deeply sensible ob the question in another form. What have you discovered?” “That you receive the attentions of another man.” “Tis false!" “1 saw you driving with him last Wednesday night.” * You—saw—me—last— Wednesday —night?" she faltered. “And this is why you refuse to speak to me?” “Tris.” “1 can explain all, You are mis- taken.” L. “ Perhaps I am,” he answered haugh- tily, “and perhapser I am no “Tt was my aunt whom you saw.” “Go to; goto!” “I will not!" she cried indignantly; not till you have heard me through. You have blundered upon our family’s secret My aunt is” — “Well?” “A bearded lady.” She hung her head and blushed deep- ly. Did she blush because of the painful de honah yo’ confer on me by askin’ fo’ mah han’, Vo' habits am disclosure she had just made, or because irreproachable, yo" fortune ample, an’ yo! fambly ‘ristocratic; but, he was showering rapturous kisses on the Mirabeau, de man dat I marry mus’ hab mo’ dan dat. He mus) pot cr nur neck hab a l-a-t-g-e b-l-o-n-d-e mustache.” ee OF bene Qui sait? mares: GOING UP HIGHER. FORMER resident of New York, returning to the city after several years’ absence abroad, was surprised to find that Irishmen were no longer employed in rough out-door manual occupa- tions and that their places had been taken by Italians, He mentioned the circumstance to his coachman one morning and asked him how he accounted for it. With an air of surprise at his Many things, “T cannot believe it, “Yet you trusted me once.” THE WRONG PRESCRIPTION. master's ignorance he promptly replied, “ Th’ demand fer shtatesmen, sor.” IN ROUND NUMBERS. +4 GIVE you up,” he eried in scorn, ‘Aid marry a richer ‘jade’? Why, dear, thers never was born ‘Than you a wealthier maid. ** You are worth so little, you say, You mass of dimples and curls? Why, sweet, You are worth, this day, A million—of other girls.” MADGE ROBKETSON. THE CASE OF MR. RICKETTS. Tiff—"\s Ricketts stiil postmas- ter at Quohosh 2” Tugf—" No.” Tiff —" Removed by the new ad- ‘Tie, Puysictax—"' Your system is completely — ministration; I suppose?” run down, What you need is a long vacation, spent Tuff" No." in the country.” Patient—" Good heavens, doctor! that's just where I have been all summer.” Tiff —"\ndeed? What did he die of ?" A COW-CATCHER. comicbooks.com