Judge — October 7, 1893 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE 66 \JHAR yo’ ben de las’ fo” days?" asked Deacon Randolph the other morning, as the heir-apparent walked into the kitchen, dropped on to a chair, twitched convulsively and rolled. his eyes wildly into various dark corners of the room. “I—I ben ‘mong fren’s, dat’s whar I ben, ef yo’ wants ter know," replied the heir-ap- parent savagely. | * Yo" ben ‘mong fren’s, eh?” cried the deacon, jumping two feet in the air and striking £ che table with his fist so hard that the heir-apparent shook in his boots. “Is it yo fren’s dat I keeps yo’ away frum home fo’ fo’ days, loses yo’ your job, an’ sen’s yo" back shaky like yo’ see ghosts, wiv a bad breff, a WRAL brack eye, a ruptured pa'r ob pants, an’ no collar? yo’ fren’s will let yo" sit in de kitchen fo" two months while Prr'aps yo’ lookin’ up anudder job. HARD TO FIND, is ennyt’ing lost ef yo" knows whar it am?" y lack idiot !" A HEART-RENDING APPEAL. O THE “JUDGE “—Knowing your generous championship of the oppressed I appeal to you for aid. 1 am an ill-used and browbeaten specimen of my kind, befriended of I am stamped upon, stood on my head, and licked in every en- Though I am the slave of all no one has a good word to say I travel many thousands of miles to carry messages of love, noney, joy or despair; yet my wage is slight and people are clamoring for its reduction. I stick to my friends, which is more than can be said of my betters; vet 1am thrown aside after my freshness has departed and the stains of time and bad treatment have obscured my beauty. To their shame ve it said, many have claimed that they found an unpleasant flavor about me; but that is the mere fractious complaint of folks who would require a silk rope to be hung with. I admit that there are times when Iam weighed in the balance and found wanting; but who is perfect? And it is true that I sometimes go astray, although that is caused by the company I am forced to keep. My face is not unfamiliar to you; neither is my name; and I need aid all the more, as I feel that Tam not long for this world. Yours wretchedly, COLUMBIAN TWO-CENT STAMP. YER FLORENCE &. PRATT. none. counter, for me. A SNAPPY ARTICLE. P'rhaps yo’ fren's will furnish yo’ wiv grub an’ terbacker an’ washin’ an’ a good bed. fren’s will pray fo" y nights an’ lay awake wor- = ryin’ "bout yo’, like yo’ po’ ol’ mudder. Go ‘long wiv yo’! Ef yo" said dat yo" ben wiv yo" wust enemies, dat wud cut yo" froat an’ rob yo’ ef yo" was wuff it, den I tink yo" somefin’ like a prodghigal; but now I see dat yo" ain’ wuff killin’ a fated pullet fur." WOULD TRY THE E. B. Young widow—" 1 wish you'd tell me where I can get a good invest- ment for sixty thousand dollars that came in last week.” Lawyer—" Stocks, bonds, mortgages, or eligible bachelor?” Young widow—"1 don’t want to invest this money again, and you know what stocks, bonds and mortgages mean.” A FLATTERING DESCRIPTION. Richie (bawling up the stairs)—" Mamma, come down here! a lady waitin’ to see you.” "Sh-sh-sh, dear! Who is it?” I don’t know, but she’s tall an’ got ‘squito bites on her Here's SERVED WITH DRESSING. Why, Mr. Brown! how do you do?” Mr. Brown—"* I'm sure you have the advantage of me. I" “Have you forgotten me so soon? Why, we met on the last summer.” Miss Kahoe! Is it possible? Pardon me; I hardly knew on,” comicbooks.com