Judge — October 7, 1893 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

212 THE LIGHTNING BICYCLISTS—A PHANTASY. JUDGE HER CREDEN- TIALS. ONCERT-ROOM at world’s fair. “Do you see that lady just coming in? That is Mrs. Trimountain of Bos- ton.” she? I never “Never heard of her! Why, she is the leading 1 bean.” A PULL TOGETHER. Mabel (finisbi ing prayer) —"* Please, God, make Mabel a good little girl. You try just as hard as you can and Til try just as hard as I c her even- TOO SMALL. CANNOT believe the story that Corning, in this state, has had hail- stones as small as hens’ eggs. Corning never had anything of that kind that weighed less than three pounds. DOESN’T ‘OM REED, mercial LOOK IT. according to the Com- dvertiser, never opens his ving something. If that is so we should think he would be mighty hungry by this time. mouth withou EXPECTING TOO MUCH. Captain of salvation army (to old salt)—“If you want to join our ranks you must give up profanity and tobace.” Old salt—* Well, | don’t know but I can give up swearing, but I'm blanked if I'il give up tobacco!" AGRICULTURAL PARADOX. A COUPLE were married in a balloon at the Elmira fair, and if he was wise the clergyman got his fee before they were ready to come down THAT WAS HOW HE KNEW. Mr. Gilgal is a thorough grammarian.” “I thought he was distinguished for nothing but stuttering.” wynn —" That's what makes me think he is a grammarian—his familiarity with the parts of speech.” A HARD PROBLEM. Miss Dixan—" Well, Mistah Juhnsing, whad yo" holdin’ dat stirrup dat ar’ way fer? Why doan’ yo’ put mah foot in hit?” IN PHILADELPHIA, Pirttapetentan-—"* What are you looking for?” Frienp (from New York)—"* For the * keep-off-the-grass’ sign.” WHERE THEY COME FROM. +4] ALWAYS wondered where all the Smiths came from until my recent visit to the city.” “And then what happened?” Then I saw a sign ‘Smith manufacturing com- pan; TOO AUSPICIOUS. Bagley—" Let me tell you what a funny thing my baby did last night.” Bailey—“ Not now, Bagley. when I want to catch a train,” Wait until some day THAT’S HIS REASON, S\VVHY are you so strongly in favor of an W income-tax ?” “ Because I have no income.” NOT A STEM-WINDER. Land-lubber—" What is the first work on board you give to a green man when he ships 2” Sailor—" We gener- ally set him at winding up the starboard watch.” IMPOSSIBLE, seS aM JON " says an ex- change, changed his base.” He cannot do Which- ever way Sam Jones may turn that will be his most conspicuous exhi- bition. INTANGIBLE. ¥ Sunday-school teacher (to Chi- naman) —" [am sorry, Sam, that you do not like your Sunday-school.”” Sam Gee—Melican man’s Joss humbug Joss. Chinaman no can see Chlist. No see no likee; no like no play.” TIME BY THE FORELOCK. A SMALL trader in a country town, wishing to leave his shop for a short time, put this notice on his door—“ Been gone ten minutes.” comicbooks.com