Judge — September 23, 1893 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ENTITLED TO DIS- COUNT. s¢THAT price includes state-room and meals, I suppose?" said the pros- pective ocean tourist to the steamship agent. “Yes, sir. Then what reduction do»you make to a man who is seasick all the way across?” COULDN’T RECIP- ROCATE, Fleecy (at the bar)="T congratulate you, old man. You've finally got the posi- tion you've been after so long.” Downey—"Yes, Fleecy ; but (significantly) I joined the Ollie Sumner Teall club to-day.” THE REASON WHY. = NERS 183 THE ONLY THING MISSING, ¢ “THERE'S no politics in this fair, 1 hear,” said the visitor, “No, sir-ee; there isn’t,” returned the guide. “I'm sorry. I'd like to see a politic.” NO CHANGE. Briggs—" You say your doctor sends you a bill twice a year?” Griggs—" Yes.” Briggs—* What does he do that for?” Griges—" It's the same bill.” FAITHFUL TO FIDO. Woman (in Italy) —" Oh, distraction! The brigands have stolen my husband and my pug do; Official— We shall have to act very delicately in the matter, madam, or the high- waymen may follow the capt- ure with death,” Woman—"Tell_ them ransom shall be paid. Fido shall not die !” Barlow—" Great Cassar! this weather is awful. Seems to me I'm always in town on the hottest days.” Harlow —"Why, have you been away?” Barlow —"No; stayed here right along.” MANSLAUGHTER, It’s a shame that poor fellow went and drowned himself.” Ob, he couldn’t help it, His best girl threw him overboard,” A FREAK. ““T don't know what to do with Henry, He won't work, wants to sit up all night and lie abed all day, uses liquor and tobacco immoderately, and absolutely refuses to wear decent clothes or get his hair cut.” AFTER THE BOAT CAPSIZED, ‘ome on, old man; you can easily swim to shore.” Her BRoTHER—** Why, he must be a born author.” nN fot much, I ate a lot of biscuits this morning which my wife MOTHER (weepin “*And after all I've done for that child!" CIRCUMSTANCES CHANGE CASES. + ¢[SN'T he ashamed to admit that he was on bis knees when he proposed to you?” “Ob, no. It was during the prayer at my uncle Croesus’s funeral.” THE DREAM CAME TRUE. [ ALWAYS believe in dreams, I do, For I know ofttimes the dreams come true, Why, it was only the other night I dreamt of a fire and saw the light, It worried me much, and I twisted and tossed ; Then overslept—half a day was lost. But my dream came true, though undesired. When I came to the office I was fired. on A REBUFF. Cholly (seeking to be friendly) Wather cloudy to-day, isn’t it?” Her father (gcuffly)—*Great Caesar, young man! haven't you got sense enough to know FORCE OF HABIT. whether it is or not without asking?” CoRNER LOAFER—"* Watch me, Bill.—— — Attention, there!” comicbooks.com