Judge — September 9, 1893 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE DEACON RANDOLPH'S PHILOSOPHY. O' WANTER borrer five cents t' ride down town? Whad yo" done wiv dat ten dollars yo’ hab Sat'dy night?" re- marked Deacon Randolph the other morning. “T bought a pa'r ob labender pants an’a bosom-pin, I had t’ hab ‘em,” replied the Randolph heir-apparent. " did, eh?" said the deacon. “Well, jes’ go up an’ see ef de guard ‘IN let yo" ride frum a hundred an’ twen- ty-fif’ street t'de Battery because yo" got on a pa'r ob labender pants an’ a bosom-pin, When yo" gits hungry go in an’ ask fer a meal because yo" got on a pa'r ob labender pants an’ a bosom-pin. When yo’ froo work t’-night p'r’aps yo" A LIBERAL OFFER. S¢LJAVE you anything to offer the court why sentence should not be pro- nounced upon you?" said the judge to the convicted burglar. “I'll give you half the swag, judge,” was the generous proposition. A RECONCILIATION (?) Mr. Younghusband (home late)—" Forgive me, Gertrude, this once, and never again will I do anything to bring tears to those bright eyes.’ Mrs. Younghusband (sobbing)—" Yes, dear; 1 forgive you. Often I think that perhaps I expect too much of you, a man with your surroundings and tempta- tions ; and look at the way you were dragged up!" A SKEPTIC. Mrs. Dangle—"You have never been to one of my receptions before, have you?” Mrs. van Wyker— Have you ever given any?” IN NO DANGER ‘She—"Oh, no, Chol- WAITING FOR HEL ly; go and see him. He's an invalid, you know.” Loxety Jounsox Tirep WILLIAM—"* Wait a while, Lonely, De tide 's have ter walk.” THE EXCEPTION. * Move along now, or T'll hit you with this brick.”” My dear madam, what you say is manifestly impossible. — THE woman: ‘THE TRAMP— We'd better be gittin’ in, William.’ feel better walkin’ frum city hall to Harlem wiv a pa'r ob laben- der pants an’ a bosom-pin den ridin’ in de cars wiv ole pants an’ nine dollars an’ ninety-five cents in yo’ pocket. Go ‘long wiv yo'! While you had dat ten dollars in yo" pocket yo" was jes’ as good a man as Geo'ge Gould; but now yo’ ain’ no better dan a bunco-steerer wiv yo’ labender pants an’ yo" bosom-pin."* AN ELIGIBLE ACQUAINTANCE, 4 Codling—" Why did you speak to that howwid twamp, old fel Gilley—* Why shouldn't I, chappie? He isn’t in twade and he doesn’t work faw a living.” A BUSY LIFE- SAVER. SCAND they say a big fellow from the beach sprang into the surf, seized her round the waist and saved her life.” “What did she say to him? he told him he might do it again the next day.” THE PROVISO. She—"" Would you marry a woman who would marry for mone He—Yes, if she was a widow who had done so.” risin’ an’ will float us in, so’s we won't comicbooks.com