Judge — August 12, 1893 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PESSIMISMS. LOVE and anger need no volapik. Nothing is sure in politics but uncertainty. Many men lightly spoken of as ‘hen-pecked” would starve if henless. Excessive humility is a fungus which springs from a decaying character. ‘A man never really knows what he wants until he finds that he cannot get it. Most thoughtful persons would rather be dead than living, but all object to dying. For a person who is entirely happy, sin has no temptation—but—where is the person ? There is one thing much worse than a mascu- line woman, and that is a feminine man. We. attempt to shield our own well-known follies by loudly protesting against them in others. >; VE A STERN REMEDY. HARLEY opened his morning mail slowly and when he reached the last letter read it with a smile, He then re-read it with a broader smile and drew forth his engagement-book to make a note therein, As he turned toa certain date and glanced at it he fell back in his chair with a look of horror. At that moment Jackson entered and going up to Harley slapped him genially on the back in the pleasant manner which some men have. Harley was in such a state of collapse that Jackson's touch upset him completely. He fell out of the chair, which rolled over on him, struck on his hand, doubling his wrist under him—and fainted. Jackson had barely strength of mind and body enough to pick his friend up and prop him against the desk. At that moment Harley opened his eyes. Jackson,” he faltered, “I—I've broken my wrist.” Poor Jackson was speechless.“ Jackson,” said Harley, holding out his uninjured arm, “I'm obliged to you—more deeply indebted than Icantell. I had atwo weeks’ engagement to escort Miss Barlow to the picnic on Saturday and this morning I got a note from Miss Foster saying that she accepted with pleasure my invitation to dine —on Saturday, too, my boy. And now,” he added with a sigh of 1N WA ‘CYCLONES relief, “a broken wrist lets me out of the worst box I was ever in. Tur MAN—" Well, by gum! This is the first time I ever saw a messenger + Will—will you please go for a doctor ?” boy in a hurr; . PROPOSAL; OR, THE PERILS OF EMBONPOINT, Nw —'* Excuse me, Ned; I got here first.” Burriss—"' Beg pardon, old fel’, I'dida't see you, I asshaw you,” comicbooks.com