Judge — August 5, 1893 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W. J. Amemct, 1. M, Geecony, TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA, IN ADVANCR One copy, one year, of s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months. or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy, for ty weeks == 83s Tncluding the Curistwas June. UBSCRIPTIONS—Tealt for- ries tn the postal union, THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupGE BUILDING). Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York. te cal paper published. The Jovan is for sale at Brentano's, 17 Avenue del Opera, Pari Smith, Ainslee & Cons 25 rect, Strand, London, England; at Saarbach's News Exchange. a r Alioth, Geneva, Switserland. ‘O PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Junce are protected by copy: ed States and Great Britain, Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. Clo aio THE HOUSE —The discussion on Chicago Sunday opening. vithout a daughter and a bicycle in it is only half blessed. nee TRUTH WILL OUT, but she is as slow as if dressing for an evening party. seTHE KING is dead,” says Bis- marck. “In my opinion the quotation closes right there.” THE GAMBLER who breaks. the bank was originally the man who caught the most fish and lost the big- gest. [F DR. FLOWER has a machine of his own it will presently transpire that he has smashed his hand in the cogs of it. MUST not’ think that with congress in extra session there is going to be surcease of boils and carbuncles, SORE POWER to the blarney- stone," says the Evening Sun. Very well; let the four or five natives who have office in this city send in their resignations. only costs you twenty- dollars after three years. that ten thousand doliars !" WHITELAW REID says that since John J. Ingalls was kicked into the gutter by Lease and Peffer he bas spouted nothing but mud. lars t’ shpind afther yer dead.’ That is so; and deucedly poor mud too. N A SERMON entitled “The use of the fan" Rev. Mr. Farrier of Poughkeepsie said," believe there is a hell as sure as there is a God.” ‘The gentleman apparently doubts the efficacy of the fan. JOHN SHERMAN says a certain man who misrepresents him ougks to be hanged. That is the proper punishment for a malicious liar; but, good senator! this country can't afford to lose about half of its best voters. THE FLOGGING of the strongest man in the world by a mere woman conflicts with one’s natural desire to put faith in human nature; but it may be a compliment for the strongest man even if it convicts him as an amiable fool WE CAN WISH jor George W. Childs no better wish than that when he is dead some friend will write of him as earnestly, thoughtfully and truthfully as he has written of his dead friend and brother in gentle- ness and goodness, Anthony J. Drexel. THE WHITE STOCKING for ladies is to be revived, and a great many young men who do not know what they talk about are object ing to it. Now it is not the kind of stocking that looks well or ill; it all depends on the woman who wears it. GREAT EXPECTATIONS. AGENT (of the workingman's mutual sink-hole association) —" Vt ve cents a week, and we give you ten thousand Think of going back to, Ireland and spending Part (eho has been there before)—"* Oi don't want it. Oi'm afther bein’ insured in a company nixt wake thot gives yez foive hundred dol- THE IRON-BOUND REFORMERS. CLERGYMAN in Indiana preached a temperance sermon, and a man arose and said that all men who were not prohibitionists were hypo- crites, thieves and rascals; whereupon the clergyman kicked the man into the street. There is so much fighting between temperance organizations that one is tempted to advise them to get hilarious and harmonious. THE FIRE-EATERS. A SILVER CONVENTION proclaims war against gold, with “blood to the horses’ bridles.” Certain confederate talk of the last ditch was equally effective; and we believe a confederate who said he would “water his horse in hell” actually tried that experiment. But these vocal pyrotechnics, though quite pretty, fight no battles and kill no opposition. THE VALUE OF PEDIGREE. [7 COST the duke of Veragua all his wealth to come here, notwithstand- ing the fact that the expenses of the trip were paid by the world’s-fair commission. He has won fame and perpetuated his title, however, and in comparison with that the purse which is contemplated for him is a mere bagatelle that he won't get. His pedigree is established; and, as the great social world of Spain doubtless remarks, it remains only to look out for that of the bulls. GEORGE'S PECULIARITY. T TRANSPIRES that Prince George was already married. Our west- ern bigamists do not expect to be discovered, and as to George no one thought a couple of years ago that he was in danger of becoming aking. The excuses for sinfulness—or perhaps we should call it eccentricity in George's case—are always so good that nobody is a sinner except through accident, and the wonder is that anybody should ever be punished. However, George is not a bigamist. The king is exempt from error, and he is merely a good Christian mormon, SOME KINGS. YEARS AGO corn was mentioned as king, in opposition to or along with cotton. For several years silver has been king, and the world has been made to give it excessive tribute. These dynasties pass away, but not the solid. intrinsic value that belongs to them. It is as well for them, as for other values. to get down to hard-pan, either by natural law or legislative enactment, though the one is the child of the other. The re-arrangement of values is always troublesome, and while some are hurt the many are in the end bene- fited by it. What you want to do is to live for that and die for nothing. ROTATION IS SAFETY. MAN in Buffalo has held public office about ten years and during that time has appropriated to his personal purpose about seventy thou- sand dollars. °He says, briefly, that he couldn't resist temptation, There was the constant opportunity. His books were not properly examined. He was a thoroughly good man, Nobody ever suspected him. He was secure in his place. The Buffalo papers are amazed; and yet it is less than fifteen years since a Buffalo city treasurer who had been elected several terms defaulted to the extent of nearly half a million dollars. Both of these were civil-service-reform cases. With rotation in office the stealing would not have occurred. How fervently should every office- holder pray to be delivered from temptation. THE COLLEGE YAWP. . sTHE IDIOTIC OUTBURSTS of senseless noise dubbed college or seminary cries” is an expression by the Troy 7imes. Others have had this view; but there is as little sense in the hurrah and the tiger the various noises which men adopt to express joy, triumph, and other emotions. What is a body of men to do when it wants to whoop? The speech and the song are too long and methodical, and the shout must have something to it that you can spell. It must be spontaneous, but it must have a meaning beyond the dictionaries and it must make philolo- gists and sticklers for propriety weep. Why say “Ouch” when you are hurt, and “ Bully” when you are pleased? Oh, do not call it idiotic, dear man. Rather say that it is the education of the yawn. comicbooks.com