Judge, 1893-08-05 · page 10 of 16
Judge — August 5, 1893 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects several satirical pieces and humorous sketches typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"The Agent Ahead Again"** mocks aggressive salesmen and door-to-door peddlers, showing a publisher's agent intruding on a businessman during rain, pitching a cheap self-help book—satirizing the era's proliferation of dubious mail-order publications. **"An Embarrassment"** depicts a young man infatuated with a woman's striped bathing suit, then horrified when she reveals the dyes have run in saltwater. It's gentle mockery of romantic idealization and vanity. **"A Heavy Weight"** shows a man disturbed by his newspaper being thrown into the basement, with his wife reassuring him it's just the newsdealer—likely joking about the physical heaviness and inconvenience of Sunday papers. The remaining sketches—**"Two Exceptions,"** **"The Cultured Miss,"** and **"The Exceptions"**—are brief humorous dialogues about everyday absurdities: a child's honesty about apples, a modern woman's scholarly interests undermined by flirtation, and a polyglot defeated by his wife and mother-in-law. All represent period humor about domestic life, gender relations, and consumer culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
» er A INF £2 THE AGENT AHEAD AGAIN. BUSINESS NEWS. Party FROM ABOVE—“‘'Xcuse me, boss, I've jest hired this office over ‘A Ucomi the bank of Florida, yours. I represent th’ Getalong publishin’ company. Dein’ it's rainin’ outside TAEOE Of PORINE: ISR Gece gerne ean an’ biz dull, I thought I'd look in on yer with th’ last illustrated edition of “Every Man His Own Lawyer,’ only two dollars.” AN EMBARRASSMENT. HE HAD seen her that day, more beautiful by far than any of the fairy-creatures who had sported in the ocean before mortals usurped their play-ground. At least, that is how he put it in his soliloquy as he turned the gas out. Ab, that bathing-suit! It was a dream. How daring those stripes were, to be sure! First a broad band of red and then one of blue, and all vertically arranged. How jaunty it appeared on her and how bold it would have seemed on anybody else! seis Fer ey s- 8 The thoughts of the vision had almost lulled him to sleep when he heard voices in the adjoining room. It was impolite to listen, but it was also excusable. “Oh, what in the world will I do!” said one voice in agonized accents. “Can I help you?" “N-o-0-0!" and there was some- SS thing like terror in the cry. ‘Don't A HEAVY WEIGUT. come near me, mamma, Don’t look Mr, ALLGONE—"Good gracious, Jane! What is the cause of that this way awful loud thud I heat Mrs, ALLGONE—"* Don’t be alarmed, my love ; it is only the newsdealer “Tt means that Iam a monstrosity, a sight, a hor- rible victim of fate; that’s what it means! And it’s all your fault.” “ My fault?” “Yes. You bought the material.” “Do you refer to your red-and-blue bathing-suit “Yes, It must have faded while I was promenad- ing on the beach and—oh, what shall I do?—the salt water has set the color !” Mit, JANSEN, ALTERNATIVE. Mamma (who is going to take Maudie for a walk) — “Your hands are dirty, my ‘i dear.” ACCOMMODATED, Maudie—" Shall | wash 1. SMALL voy—"* Hey, let's see yer blow that !" them or put on my gloves?” throwing the Sunday edition of‘ our newspaper into the area.” : “Why not? What does \ \ | this mean? \\i\ THE CULTURED MISS. GHE banked on Delsarte’ little plan, On manly sport she doted. She danced and skated, walked and ran, She fished and swam and boated, She studied art and science too, Hier ideas oft asserting. And yet sbe went a suromer throigh Without a task but flirting. Many a scort. TWO EXCEPTIONS. Teacher —"*\t was very kind of you to bring me thi pple, Willie.” Willie— Yes'm. 1 got ong for mamma and one for you.” Teacher —* And that isn't the first time you have remembered me along with your mether. I guess I must have had everything that shé has, haven't 1?” Willie — No'm, not everything. _ Mother 's had twins.” THE EXCEPTIONS, E WAS a linguist known to fame, Yet was not satisfied, because He'd mastered all the modern tongues Except—his wife's and mother-in-law's. comicbooks.com