Judge — August 5, 1893 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

» er A INF £2 THE AGENT AHEAD AGAIN. BUSINESS NEWS. Party FROM ABOVE—“‘'Xcuse me, boss, I've jest hired this office over ‘A Ucomi the bank of Florida, yours. I represent th’ Getalong publishin’ company. Dein’ it's rainin’ outside TAEOE Of PORINE: ISR Gece gerne ean an’ biz dull, I thought I'd look in on yer with th’ last illustrated edition of “Every Man His Own Lawyer,’ only two dollars.” AN EMBARRASSMENT. HE HAD seen her that day, more beautiful by far than any of the fairy-creatures who had sported in the ocean before mortals usurped their play-ground. At least, that is how he put it in his soliloquy as he turned the gas out. Ab, that bathing-suit! It was a dream. How daring those stripes were, to be sure! First a broad band of red and then one of blue, and all vertically arranged. How jaunty it appeared on her and how bold it would have seemed on anybody else! seis Fer ey s- 8 The thoughts of the vision had almost lulled him to sleep when he heard voices in the adjoining room. It was impolite to listen, but it was also excusable. “Oh, what in the world will I do!” said one voice in agonized accents. “Can I help you?" “N-o-0-0!" and there was some- SS thing like terror in the cry. ‘Don't A HEAVY WEIGUT. come near me, mamma, Don’t look Mr, ALLGONE—"Good gracious, Jane! What is the cause of that this way awful loud thud I heat Mrs, ALLGONE—"* Don’t be alarmed, my love ; it is only the newsdealer “Tt means that Iam a monstrosity, a sight, a hor- rible victim of fate; that’s what it means! And it’s all your fault.” “ My fault?” “Yes. You bought the material.” “Do you refer to your red-and-blue bathing-suit “Yes, It must have faded while I was promenad- ing on the beach and—oh, what shall I do?—the salt water has set the color !” Mit, JANSEN, ALTERNATIVE. Mamma (who is going to take Maudie for a walk) — “Your hands are dirty, my ‘i dear.” ACCOMMODATED, Maudie—" Shall | wash 1. SMALL voy—"* Hey, let's see yer blow that !" them or put on my gloves?” throwing the Sunday edition of‘ our newspaper into the area.” : “Why not? What does \ \ | this mean? \\i\ THE CULTURED MISS. GHE banked on Delsarte’ little plan, On manly sport she doted. She danced and skated, walked and ran, She fished and swam and boated, She studied art and science too, Hier ideas oft asserting. And yet sbe went a suromer throigh Without a task but flirting. Many a scort. TWO EXCEPTIONS. Teacher —"*\t was very kind of you to bring me thi pple, Willie.” Willie— Yes'm. 1 got ong for mamma and one for you.” Teacher —* And that isn't the first time you have remembered me along with your mether. I guess I must have had everything that shé has, haven't 1?” Willie — No'm, not everything. _ Mother 's had twins.” THE EXCEPTIONS, E WAS a linguist known to fame, Yet was not satisfied, because He'd mastered all the modern tongues Except—his wife's and mother-in-law's. comicbooks.com