Judge, 1893-07-29 · page 4 of 16
Judge — July 29, 1893 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains four separate humorous pieces satirizing gender relations and social behavior in early 20th-century America: **"His Reward"**: A young man exhausts himself fighting through a supper-table crowd to fetch his date a sandwich and ice. When he returns, she immediately demands he fetch *another* ice—showing female ingratitude and exploitation of male gallantry. **"That Boston Maid"**: Mocks an educated Boston woman who uses unnecessarily complex vocabulary ("congealed confection" for ice cream, "aqueous vapor" for rain) to describe ordinary things. The satire targets both pretentious intellectualism and the puzzle of courtship. **"Intuition"**: A brief joke about a child misunderstanding "engaged" (betrothal) as role-play combat. **"Let Loose"**: A husband can't account for his missing fifty dollars—small expenses add up, but his wife suspects he's lying about where the money went. The page's consistent theme: wives/women are demanding, suspicious, and often ungrateful, while husbands are hapless spenders.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HIS REWARD. HE had asked him to get her some supper while they rested from the dance and he, for whom her lightest wish was law, started off to do her bidding. There was the usual crowd at the supper-table and it brought back to mind the old days of college football. He entered into the spirit of the thing and pushed and shoved and crowded and jammed with all the earnestness of youth. At the end of twenty minutes he had se- cured a tiny sandwich and an ice and hurried to her, picturing a cozy chat while she ate. “Oh,” she exclaimed as he came up, “I thought you had forgotten me.” “Never!” he returned reproachfully, “There was an awful crowd around the table.” “Oh, that was it,” she answered. “Well, I'll tell you what to do, Start off at once and get me another ice, so that by the time I finish this you'll be ready with the second—so I needn't wait at all.” “THIS MOT WEATHER MAKES ME MAD.” THAT BOSTON MAID. THAT Boston maid I much admire because she puzzles me Profound she is in commonplace as well as repartee ; Of sunset or of promenade, of snow-storm or of dew, Her speech is polysyllabic, and thus is ever new. We walked together—she and I—one evening in the rain, And saw a rainbow afterward. And yet it were quite vain For me to try to translate her, ‘*Aqueous vapor,” * hue,” * Prismatic arch concentric""—these, perhaps, will give a clew, Like other maids, she loves ice-cream, and soda-water too ; But in their nomination she is apt to rattle you. ** Congealed confection” is the one, and I-am not quite sure Just what she calls the other in her pet nomenclature, Though angular in speech she is a pretty girl to see, And therefore I admire her much, although she puzzles me. Propose? I dare not ; yet of life a year or two would give ‘To know just how she would frame yes—or yet a negative! INTUITION. “ Mabel, stop pounding your little brother! _ What do you mean?" Well, L told him we'd better play we was only engaged, but he wanted to play Je As WALDRON. LET LOOSE. Kia ee Wii 8 daeahicwcecat her mother's)—"* John! you had fifty dollars in your pocket day before yesterday and now you say you're busted, I'd like to Husbaxp —"* Well, I had to pay the milk-man,”" Wire —"* Forty-two cents ! Husnaxp—"And I got some tobacco.” Wire Trchyeive cent Husaxo—"‘And lunch yesterday. U: Wire —** One doll: vi lenty !” Husvaxp —"A-n-d I—er—went down town last night a-n-d™ Wire —""One dollar was plenty comicbooks.com