Judge, 1893-07-15 · page 4 of 16
Judge — July 15, 1893 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains multiple short humorous sketches typical of late-19th-century American satire: **"Cause of the Rise"** jokes that fat men's bathing club caused Lake Ontario's water level to rise—a body-shaming gag. **"An Even Thing"** depicts a commuter so rushed catching trains that he eats breakfast in ten minutes, causing digestive problems he avoids through exercise—satirizing urban commuting stress. **"Culture of the East"** mocks Boston's pretentious speech, suggesting Bostonians use unnecessarily formal language ("masticate a biscuit" instead of "eat a cracker"). **"No Use for Matrimony"** has a seven-year-old reject his engagement, preferring bachelorhood because his father must buy three shoe pairs monthly and endure a nagging wife—dark humor about marriage burdens. **"After Many Days"** shows a long-suffering wife relieved her husband is away at the World's Fair. **"Jersey Shade"** depicts a man seeking tree shade who immediately abandons it for the train station—joke about New Jersey's supposedly poor conditions. The humor targets urban life, marriage, regional stereotypes, and class anxieties of the Gilded Age.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CAUSE OF THE RISE. sey THOUGHT you said there was no tide in Lake Ontario.” “There isn't.” “Well, the water has risen two feet in half an nour.” “You forget that the fat men’s bathing-club is holding a picnic four miles down the beach.” AN EVEN THING. Dashaway—"1 hear you are living out at Lonelyville and come in every day. Don't you have to get up pretty early Von Blumer—"1 did, but now I've got so can eat my breakfast in ten minutes.” Dashaway —" Doesn't that give you dys- pepsia ?* Von Blumer—"1 get too much exercise for that, I have to run like smoke to catch the train.” CUSTOMER FIFTEEN YEARS OLD, AND ONE FIFTY YEARS OLD, With a coming tip in view And as the years roll by, WORSE YET. And manner quite suave, ‘As he sits within the chair, = gat He asks the youthful customer, The only remarkable difference is, Mr. Rathburn — Drunk again, Mike? ** Mustache trimmed or shave ?” “Shave or trim your hair 2” Mike—"No, sor-r. i'm disgushtinly sober. CULTURE OF THE EAST. . ‘| SAID to your bird, * Polly want a cracker?" but she didn’t seem to understand me.” “Well, you see, Polly was brought up in Boston. If you had said, ‘Does Polly desire to masticate a biscuit ?° you would probably have had a different result.” NO USE FOR MATRIMONY. Uncle Geoffrey —" What's this I hear, Bertie, about the en- gagement between you and Ethel being broken off? I thought that was a settled thing.” Bertie (aged seven) —" Yes, Uncle Geoffrey, I have decided to become a bachelor like you. See what a good time you have, with your horses and your club; while papa has to buy me three pairs of shoes a month and has a wile who nags him besides.” AFTER MANY DAYS. Mrs, Oldwife (reading letter from her better-half)—" Well ! I am at last resigned to my husband's taking his. world’s-fair trip without me.” Mrs. Newbride—" How can you say so?” Mrs. Oldwife—" Why, he writes here that intelligence has reached him—I can’t make out the rest; but how thankful I am, for I had long since come to the conclusion that it never would.” 4 TAR TELL EreDe BILL THE WANDERER (after a wild shot)—* Shay, Mister Gesshler, my name ‘sh Williamson, not Tellson. You've made er mishtake. JERSEY SHADE. Crry noarDer (just arrived)—"'Ah, this is the kind of a tree I like to sit (The nextday.) But he doesn’t sit long—and an hour after he is reading under and read.” the time-table at the station. comicbooks.com