Judge, 1893-06-10 · page 4 of 16
Judge — June 10, 1893 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page from *Judge* contains multiple short satirical pieces typical of the magazine's format: **"A Chilly Arrival"** mocks a military officer returning from China after six years, expecting his romantic gesture (a doll gift) to delight a young woman—who instead sarcastically demands diamonds, having moved on completely. **"A Water-Spout"** and **"A Natural Idea"** are brief joke exchanges about children's innocent observations (a schoolmaster's mouth contents, a girl noticing her father's hair loss resembles moth damage). **"Two Summers"** is a sentimental poem about young lovers reuniting—the joke being they can't remember each other's names, but return the next year with a baby, suggesting they eventually reconciled. **"No Place to Go"** satirizes Prohibition-era drinking culture, suggesting unemployed men now lack places to congregate now that saloons are closed. The remaining pieces are minor gags about social awkwardness, mistaken identity in newspaper photos, and domestic servants. The overall tone reflects *Judge*'s characteristic blend of romance, domestic life, and social commentary through humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A CHILLY ARRIVAL. CAPTAIN Bracer (who has bcen six years in China)—" 1 beg your pardon, young woman, but can I bother you to take this doll in to the little girl who lives in that house and tell her Santa Claus sent it? T want to surprise her.” E YOUNG Woman —‘I beg your pawdon, papaw, but I'm, as the goes, ‘onto you,’ and I must say that I expected nothing short of diamonds after so long an absence on your part.” A WATER-SPOUT. Per You people lyn, We in Philadelphia BLEEcKex —"* So I heat Scwootmaster — ‘* What have you got in your mouth? Answer at once, What is it?— A NATURAL IDEA. THEL’S mamma had made her annual fight on the moths, and had found several garments more or less moth-eaten. Ethel had been deeply in- terested, A day or two later the little girl looked at her father’s head care- fully and observed, “ Mamma, the moths have got into papa’s hair too.” AMBIGUOUS. He—"So you think that clothes don’t make the man?” She—" They didn’t in your —Take that"—! case NO PLACE TO Go. ++ AND you say all the saloons in the town have been closed ?” “Yes; there isn’t a drinking-place open.” “I'd like to know where in thunder the men who are out of spend their time.” IN THE PARLOR. Matilda (to caller) — Mis’ Hawson done tol’ me to tell you sick a-bed an‘ can’t see you to-day; an’ me an’ de young ladies is WHEELING A HEAVY LoaD, along wid de wuuk de bes’ we can, so you'll ‘scuse us, won't you ?” TWO SUMMERS, LAST summer they stood all atone by the sea And whispered sweet nothings and sighed, And plighted their troth while the waves kissed the sand, And vowed they'd be true till they died. And now you expect me, of course, to relate How these lovers, when next summer came, Met again by the sea but could not recollect Just what was each other's name, But you're off ; for this same couple stand by the sea This summer and talk, hand in hand, And whisper remembrances dear to their hearts While the waves make love to the sand, But they're not all alone, a third party looks on With cold disapproval, it may be; However, I'm not very sure on that point, For the party in question's a baby. w, 1. nionDow. AT CAPE MAY. do business in New York, but you have to sleep in Brook- sleep in the place where we do business.” ir; and at the same time.” POLITENESS OF NATURE. the coming of spring the trees bend low And the mountains take off their caps of snow. AT FAMILIAR FACES. Jones (to Smith) —" Yes, indeed, we are giv- ing the town a regular old boom. Didn't you see my picture in the paper I sent you ?” Smith—1 saw a portrait, but didn’t recog- nize it as yours. It looked too thin for a catarrh “/, cure, and not bald enough for a shoe-man, so I , put you down as a disappointed Georgia office- J’ seeker.” work she’s gittin’ Buy Bricut—" Water, sir.” comicbooks.com