Judge — May 27, 1893 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE DOG DISAPPEARED, Lone nunter—‘You'll do me a great favor, my dear sir, if you'll allow me to leave my dog here to the fort for more ammui One-sHint (the Pavone HE NEVER TOLD HIS LOVE, E NEVER told his love, because He feared the tale might quite up- set her. He never told his love he was ‘Twice married ere he ever met her. TO QUENCH THAT THIRST. Customer—"Why have you got that sign up—‘ Purchasers of postage- stamps must affix them to letters be- fore leaving the store?” Druggist—" Have you ever licked one of those big Columbian stamps?” Customer—* Yes, | have.” Druggist—" Well, we started the soda-fountain to-day.” JUDGE LAST RESORT. 6+ Ow did you ever manage to get into your trunk with- out a hair-pin?” “Oh, pshaw! it was too easy.” “Tt was?” “Yes; I remem- bered I had the key,” SAME ‘RESULT. Mrs. Coggshell— “My Mirandy ’s down with the grip.” Mrs, Buxby—"1 suppose she’s been go- in’ to dances nights.” Mrs. Coggshell — No; faith-cure meet ar One-suirt (a half-hour later)—"* Moon-eyes, bring One- shirt a tooth-pick. A MACHIAVELIAN TRICK. s¢PARKER did a mean thing the other night,” said Darley. You know he secretly admires Billy Wilkins’s girl. Billy doesn’t know it and he asked Parker if he wouldn't get two seats for the theatre for him — something?” on Tuesday night. Billy was too busy and, by Jove! Parker said he would. When Billy and his girl got to the theatre they found their seats were in the peanut-gallery !” THOUGHT IT WAS A DOOR-MAT. Lazy Srepz—' Hello, Slack! What makes yer look so indignant?” SANDY SLACK—"' Why, I fell asleep on dem steps an’ de boss wiped his feet on me whiskers.” IF IT IS LIKE ITS NAME, ¢¢QUPPOSE I make the next gown of parrot green velvet?" suggested Mrs. Skadds's dressmaker. “Oh, that’s too loud,” was the lady's reply. THE TF ~H NOT TO BE SPOKEN “AT ALL TIMES. Caj My mamma doesn’t like dogs.” ‘I Jmate—' Then how is it your father has * so maty?” Carrie —“ Because mamma doesn’t like them.”” WANTED INFORMATION, Policeman —" Here, wake up, wake up! You're in the gutter.” Welledressed inebriate—“1 shay, plliceman, can you (hic) tell me Policeman—" Mebbe. What do you want to know?” Welledressed inebriate—"\ shay, what is the (hic) name of the in- sthitution I was (hic) cured at?” THEY WERE ALL GUILTY. Dosixie Persimaons—"'I see in dis congregashun a prom'nent member who is guilty of procuring chick'ns in an unlawful manner, an’ in order to point dat pusson out I will fling dis hymn-book at dat pusson’s head,” Instantaneous tableau ! comicbooks.com