Judge — May 20, 1893 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

320 MISTAKEN IDENTITY. OMEWHERE in musical, space ‘A poem-shape, serene and sweet, eld a straggling band of rhymes With lame and halting feet. song-swept S “I'm Aldrich's original verse,” It proudly said. ‘And who are these ?* Stammering, the guilty crowd confessed, “We are the parodies.” canouyw watts AN INCOMPLETE CLEANSING. ‘SES, sir.” said Jaysmith, “1 washed my hands of the entire transaction.” “Why didn’t you use some soap?” asked Cumso with a glance at the hands alluded to. Piitanruxorist —" My good man, if you can prove to me that you are blind I will gladly give you a quarter.” BLIND MAN —"* Show me the quarter first.” EXPERT TESTIMONY. Counsel (for defense, to defense’s expert) — “You have heard Dr. Ptomaines say that the woman, immediately after her death, lay quite still on the bed. Do you believe that this could have been true under the circumstances 2” Expert —"1 do not. In all my experience I have not known a corpse that acted in that way. The statement is absurd; contrary to the latest developments of science.” Counsel—" You also heard this doctor say that the color white is white. Is that true?” Expert —"Itis false, ridiculous. Accord- to latest discoveries of science, this color, when analyzed and properly tested, is a deep black.” Counsel—“The witness who preceded you also stated that when the woman was lying in bed she was in a horizonta ion. What do you think of this testimon: Expert —*It is on a par with the rest — absurd. If it is true, as has been testified, that the woman was lying down, the only possible conclusion is that she was in a perpendicular position.” Ww. L. mionDon, A GOOD NOSE FOR IT. DOING THE RIGHT THING. Young man—“1 deliver ice at your house and I thought 1d see if you wouldn't do the right thing by me in the purchase of a ring for a young woman Jeweler —* How high do you want to go?” Young man—"About eight dollars.” Jeweler —"* You deliver ice at my house, you say?” Young man—" Yes.” Jeweler —" Well, there's a six-dollar ring, but under the circumstances you may have it for eight.” ** Now, ladies and gentlemens, before I per- form this trick I will blindfold my son Ikie.” WENT TO A GOOD PLACE. Dentist — "No, I've no ob- jection to, your sitting in my office during my extracting hours, but why do you want to do such a peculiar thing ?” Young man— I've been delegated by our class to get points fc ew coll yell.” en kere Ikie blindfolded, A DIFFICULT LANGUAGE +4] WISH you would tell me the meaning of an expression I have noticed in the news- papers,” said a Frenchman who was studying the English language. Very well,” replied the American. What expression do you refer to?” “One of the newspapers said there was ‘a nigger in the wood-pile.’” “Ob, that’s an idiom. It means there is a ‘snake in the grass.’ “Nigger in the wood-pile means there's a snake in the grass?” said the inquirer with a puzzled air. “Well, both the expressions are synonymous with ‘the milk in the cocoanut’ and ‘an axe to grind.’ Understand?” But the foreigner scratched his head and walked aw: his countenance. y with an expression of despair on A SURPRISE FOR THE OLD THe apparition —"* Cut-cut-cut-ka-dar-cut !" ; ; : Mr. Frentry —‘* Dar's dat lazy, good-fr-nawthin boy ‘f mine went an’ chucked dat fowl in whole, ‘n place ob pickin’-ob him." comicbooks.com