Judge, 1893-04-22 · page 4 of 16
Judge — April 22, 1893 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page from *Judge* contains multiple brief satirical sketches typical of late-19th-century American humor magazines. **"One Way to Stop It"** depicts a Texas victim hit by a butcher's cart, claiming Texans are tough—likely referencing the exaggerated reputation of Texans as hardy, violent frontiersmen. **"Sentences Passed by the Judge"** are aphoristic observations on life, morality, and character—the magazine's editorial commentary disguised as witty wisdom. The remaining items are short comic vignettes: a baseball fan offended by an umpire's stare, children's mishaps, romantic banter about engagement, a stammering boy, nostalgic reflections on youth, a waiter misunderstanding foreign accents, someone's ability to pronounce tongue-twisters, and a wife's complaint about her husband's drinking—all employing period stereotypes (dialect humor, class observations, gender dynamics) typical of *Judge*'s entertainment approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ONE WAY TO STOP IT. Victim (run down by butcher-cart)—" Hold on, child! hold on! I'm from Texas! !" SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. [t IS things least that one sometimes wants most. The only successful reform is that ac- complished in the first person. The choice of a birth-place is only less important than the choice of parents. A woman is more a woman that is a wife, and more a wife that is a mother. More diplomacy is required in managing a servant than in dealing with the affairs of a nation. ‘There is no completer test of a character than a course in politics—where character is so rarely found. If it is generally true that to one sex was given a preponderance of strength and to the other of sweetness, it was even that the weak might become strong and the strong pitiful. KATWRINE GHOSJEAN, BASE-BALL CRANK —"* Why do you leave in the middle of the game, Isaacs?” Isaacs—"'Efry time dot umpire says *Dree balls’ he looks me righdt in der face.” TEMPORARY DISFIG- UREMENT. Litre Gertiz—"" Do you s‘pose I'm going to the picnic with such a looking thing as you?” Litre Tommy—" M-marm p-put her work-b-basket on my head when she c-cut my hair, an’ she couldn't c-clip ‘round th’ handles—boo-hoo A POINTER. He—“ Now that we are engaged, dear, may I take a kiss?” She—" You may if you want the engagement to last.” GETTING READY. Stuffer—"Wt Vtake dine ner with you I've got to change my clothes.” Dashaway—" Nonsense, man. What do you want to change your clothes for ?” Stuffer—"1 want to put on a vest with an elastic back.” THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. TO WISH you were a boy again Is foolish, you'll allow ; ‘The things you used to care for then You never care for now. THE INTERPRETER. Stranger—"K glass of beer and a Swiss- cheese sandwich.” - Waiter (calling) —““Amber collar and a SELF-POSSESSION. Fleecy—"V'd give anything if 1 had as good command of myself as Downey has.” Bailey—“1s Downey so self-possessed then 2” Fleecy—"That man can say ‘truly rural’ up to four o'clock in the morning.” OVER-INDULGENCE. Passencex —"* Is your husband in pain?” —‘*He vos! Ven he find owd der ize-vater vos free he trink two glasses effery times der poy gom's py. comicbooks.com BO ws tol of | Pe col