Judge — March 18, 1893 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

yj, IFFLES had a little can— He found it ‘neath the snow— And everywhere that Riffles went ‘The can was sure to go. i tHe fotlowed it to Burk’s saloon, Which was his daily route ; He squeezed the kegs and heaved a sigh "Cause not a drop came out. CASAR’S DYING JOKE. 6] WISH, Cassius,” said Cesar as the senator plunged his dagger into him; “I wish you would remember Wol- sey’s advice.” “What was that, Juley?” asked Cas- sius. “Put not your thrust in princes,” re- plied Caesar as he died. SORT OF NECESSARY. 66[SN'T Lent tiresome?” Flypp. “A little,” replied Miss Kittish; “but if there were no Lent what would we do for Easter and Easter bonnets?” HOW IT HAPPENED. WHEN Patrick with bis magic wand Drove out the serpent frisky, His snakeship, being barred the land, Took refuge in the whisky. A LITTLE LOWER THAN THE ANGELS. Esthetic Bostonian (carving duck, to Miss Wingate from Chicago)—“Ah, Miss Wingate, here is a beautiful pinion I have saved for you.” Miss Wingate (from Chicago) — “Thanks, awfully; but I never take a pinion s’ long as there's a trotter in sight.” THE QUEER PART OF IT. said Miss FROM GAY TO GRAVE. * D'ye moind th’ darg Jamie Roach gev me?” Mr, DoLaN—"'Shure, he's th’ purtiest, dar-rlin‘est bit av a pup Oi iver seen. Phwat koind is it?" Miss Dotan" Jamie says he wor an’ Eyetalian grey" — Mr. Dotax—" Dhrown him!" SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. THE devil earneth his wage. Indolence not seldom wears the mask of Patience and receives her rewards. A high-arched instep is not the only inconvenience attending aristocratic line- age. Those who sacrifice the present to the future make offering to an unknown. god. Precautions taken against disease are frequently more troublesome than the dis- ease itself. The potter and the smith put not the pains of their elaborate workmanship into soft metal and brittle clay. It seems that wordy and tedious piety springs as often from a feeble digestion as from a naturally religious temperament. KATHRINE GROSJEAN. THE GALLANT SAINT. Now Patrick, being only human, Admires the fair sex all he can ; He loves the dear old apple-woman, But hates like sin the Orangeman, IT WOULD NOT HURT. | SEE young Shaving, a member of the four hundred, has gone on the stage.” “Is that extraordinary?” “Not exactly; but he doesn’t stay behind the scenes.” McSuerry—' Look ‘er thot, now! A kid th’ height av a floor-bar'l shmokin'! Give me thot chigar-r ‘r Oi'll lather dacency inter yez. — NOT SO IGNORANT AFTER ALL, ExrLorer—"' Do you know, Ethel, the African savages were so ignorant that they couldn't understand what made Stanley's iron oat float.” ETHEL—"* What was it, Uncle Jack?" ExrLoner—" Why—er—the—er—shape, you know, and—er —atmospheric pressure, you know, and—er—all that sort of thing.” N STOLEN FRUIT THAT WAS NOT SWEET. ols <y¥ | ig OS Mrs. Cumso—" Ob, what shall I do? I've spilled this ink all over my new dress. It never will come out.” Cumso—" Oh, yes, it will. indelible ink.” It’s only ca —Loaded, be th’ powers !” comicbooks.com