Judge — March 11, 1893 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Say, Sam, what's dat yer's got?" Sam—"'Gosh ! dat’s my patent automatic grip-car, I don't walk enny more, See? AN INVITATION TO HIS WEDDING. HE CALLED upon her on that Thursday evening as he had call- ed on many preceding Thursday evenings, and their conversation was of the same general char- acter that it always had been. They discussed the weather and the neigh- bors and the current so- cial functions, She had come to have a tender regard for him which would blossom into love if he would but extend the invitation to do so, but she sighed as she waited in vain for any indication of such an inten- tion on his part. On this Thursday evening, as he rose to go, he said carelessly, “Oh, by the way, I called to-night to invite you to my wedding.” A pang went through her heart. Was this to be the / end of their communings together? Had another stolen / his heart while he spent so much of his time with her? But right bravely she replied, but not without a tremor in her voice, “ Who is to be tlie bride?” —Ver jus’ drop de long bar down de cable slot —. é JUDGE EXPLAINED AT LAST. Anxious inguirer— “Will you please explain to me, Mr. Wanamaker, how it was that Columbus when he discovered land had no beard, and that when he landed twelve hours later he is rep- resented on your stamps as having a luxuriant crop of whiskers?” Mr, Wanamaker— Oh, that was simply a growth of imagination on the part of the designer. Anything else to- Teeth inserted here. SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. S$ E PARATIONS ghould occur before marriage and after death, It is only a pretty woman who insists upon her physical imperfections. ‘The devil finds it as hard to confess to a virtue as a saint .to’a vice. ‘There is nothing like the inspiration of a new idea for giving impulse to the revolving wheels of life. Itvis not that genius makes people-peculiar, but that peculiarity sometimes takes the form of genius, “You, love,” he replied, as he retraced his steps and folded her in his arms, con- tented and happy. AN Y\1.«,! rz WILLIAM HENRY SIVITER, INNOVATION IN LITERATURE. HAVE introduced a strictly new idea into this story,” said Plotter to the editor. An ostrich named Rollo ran up to a can So hollow—so hollow—so hollow ; He thought it an apple and grabbed it’ and ran ‘To swallow —to swallow—to swallow. Bot he got it half down and it stuck in his throat, And he moaned aloud, ** Were I only a goat T could land it, I'm sure, T would bet a big note ” Oh, Rollo! Poor Rollo! Poor Rollo ! “What is it?" “The clock on the parlor mantel is not French. I have had it made in Connecticut.” “I'm afraid that change is too radical,” replied the editor, shaking his head, A bumble origin becomes honorable and interesting only after one has risen to corresponding heights above it. The boy who does not run up stairs, slide down the banister and send cold chills of apprehension to the backs of his elders occasionally has something wrong with his an- atomy and should be placed under proper medical care. KATWRINE GROSJRAN. AS TO TONGUES. + ¢CCURIOUS thing,” said Dawson, “A wagon- tongue never wags while a woman's tongue is always a waggin’.” LABOR SAVED. $*J)O YOU always look under the bed before you retire?” “1 never di “You don't! Why?” sleep in a folding- “When Amis She riage dos ™ How s comicbooks.com