Judge — February 25, 1893 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BREAKING THE RECORD. Pr ey eA nt NS OLD GENTLEMAN —""' Sliding, boys, eh? Why, when [was a boy I could slide further than any boy in town, By whillikens ! I believe I can do it now.” OLD GENTLEMAN — breaker, boys. Whoop! !” ++ LULU” is a slang phrase signifying, we think, a soft snap. Perhaps the phrase was originally “a Honolulu,” but we don’t know. THE SALARIES of cabinet officers are insuffi- cient. We shall accept no portfolio that Mr. Cleveland has to offer—he can make up his supe- rior mind to that. GOVERNMENTS cannot afford hysterics. For- cign territory is not to be acquired in five minutes, The frantic haste suggested in the case of Honolulu is the statesmanship of small boys. MB: WASHINGTON was first in the hearts of his countrymen, but there was an exception to the rule in the case of the young lady who made him “sigh like a furnace” and then gave him the mitten. -ACONICAL. First poc—'*Are you going to eat?” SECOND DOG- Gnaw.” ANARCHISTS of this country are petitioned to make up a purse for the an- archists of Paris; but, of course, if they had money beyond their necessity for beer they wouldn't be anarchists. =. 4 AN IRON CHAIN weighing ninety pounds was recently found in the stomach of an elephant that had died in Wisconsin, We know now, perhaps, what has become of the animal that disappeared on the eighth of November. A SICKENING PEACE. THE MOMENT it was understood that Great Britain didn’t want Hawaii every American descended from his high horse with such velocity as to nearly break his neck, and immediately remarked, “ Well, I don’t care a dime for her myself, and in point of fact I never did.” There can be no jingo without opposition, and the prospect of peace has sent every sword back to its scabbard and every tongue to the roof of its mouth. HE QUEEN MUST OB! HE EX-QUEEN of the Sandwich islands might have learned that she was not the ruler so much as the servant of her people if she had followed the career of the always sensible Victoria, Powerful as a queen may think herself, the very Here goes for a record- He breaks it. slightest indifference to the will of her so-called subordinates puts her in more danger than any ordinary woman can invite. She can have the glory and plume her hat with it, but she must take it on the condition of implicit obedience. HAWAII. WE HAVE passed laws excluding the Chinese. Shall we pass laws taking in thirteen thou- sand of them at one swoop—to say nothing of twenty thousand Japanese and fifty thousand blacks, including a large settlement of lepers? Probably a volcano wouldn't be a bad addition to our extensive cabinet of curiosities, but we are not suffering for it. The Chinese and the negro questions have given us some trouble. Will it be wise to revive them, or to view them from a new standpoint ? WHEKE THE DIFFERENCE CAME IN. H2—" What makes the pupils of your eyes so large?” Sue —"* The ocalist put atropine or belladonna. in them ; and now, do you know, when I sit down to eat I can see nothing on the table at all He—" That's the way it is with me at my boarding-house ; but atropine has nothing to do with it,” comicbooks.com