Judge — February 25, 1893 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A BAD BARGAIN, ‘Oh, Rebecca, what you dinks? I got dat budeful dorg for von tollar.” CEMETERY GLEANINGS. =i, i [8A very old church-yard_ on Fane Gost Long island a moss-covered, time-stained block commemorates a calamity in these words : “* Father and I lies here together. Father lies here and I over there. Both lost at sea with a vessel went down with thirty other souls, with not one body ever recovered.” In eastern Vermont is a tomb- stone sacred to the memory of a certain Mrs. Hinckley. A few months later, according to the tes- timony of the stones, her little girl followed her to the well-known bourne that forbids the return of travelers, and the doubly-bereaved husband and father thus apostro- in it?” phizes his daughter : “Go sleep with ma, Alminy B, Soon pa will come and sleep with thee.” Apparently Deacon Hinckley saw reason to change his plans, for in his modest inclosure are monumental tablets sacred to the memory of his three subsequent wives. In a Massachusetts grave-yard of great antiquity I found this me- morial of an unfortunate sailor, who plaintively proclaims : “TL lost my life on the raging seas A sovereign God does as he please.” The epitaph on a tomb in Staffordshire says, incoherently and quaintly : * Broken on the wheel of time The body is the spirit’s rinde, Living with a crown in heaven My age was nobbut three times eleven.” * Rebecca, ain'd you mivdy glat we didn’t tie him to de safe mid de diamonds ‘Great Israel! Stop der t'ief !" DREADFUL. . yt IS terrible to be so small,” said Mr. Short. “Actually my wile is talking of cutting down my little boy Willie's short trousers for me!" BEYOND HIS MEANS. She—"1 thought you were go- ing to have a picture of Washington crossing the Delaware in the exhi- bition?” He—"1 did intend to, but they expected me to furnish the frame.” INDISPUTABLE. Widdles —" How do you pro- nounce ‘d-e- Taddles—“'1 pronounce it * railway-station.’ TOO NEAR. Mistress —"Are you going to marry Dennis, Mary Ann?” Mary Ann —*Ob, no, mum, He's too near a relation.” Mistress —* Why, I didn’t know that. How near is he?” Mary Ann —Well, you see, mum, me aunt married his fayther that wuz to be; an’ thin me aunt doied an’ his fayther married her that wuz aftherwurds his mother; so himself wud have been own cousin to me if me aunt hadn't doied.” Of the sex and condition of this person of thirty-three no record remains, as the upper half of the thick stone has broken or crumbled away. + 189 It teils the . Ittells The khed pields only t 0 yield to, ¥ Mas, Wis gren Teethit gums, allays I can vouch for the genuineness of all the foregoing epitaphs, which have probably not been in print before. The following have been told me by others : One that is said to be over the grave of Miss Nott, a maiden lady, in Oxfordshire, reads : “Nott born, Nott dead, Nott christened, Nott begot ; So here she lies that was and that was Nott. Reader, behold a wonder rarely wrought, Which while thou seemst to read thou readest Nott.” The inscription on the monument of two little girls in England runs: “To the memory of Emma and Maria Littleboy, the twin children of George and Emma Littleboy of Hornsey, who died July 16, 1783. Two Littleboys lie here, Yet strange to say, These Littleboys are girls.” A NEW DRESS COAT. A “THOMAS CONCERT.” Designed for small and early tea-parties. comicbooks.com