Judge, 1893-02-04 · page 5 of 16
Judge — February 4, 1893 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects brief humorous anecdotes and jokes typical of late-19th-century American satire. The main pieces include: **"Anecdote of Thomas Carlyle"**: A jab at the famous Scottish philosopher-historian (1795-1881), portraying him as a gruff, irritable intellectual who rudely dismisses an obsequious admirer. **Recurring joke format**: Most items mock social types—overeager tailors, dense farmers, pretentious detectives, gossiping women. The humor relies on wordplay and character stereotypes (a rural farmer losing his wallet, a bald man confusing hair-restorer with hair-remover). **Social commentary**: Several jokes target wealth disparities ("endowed caramel-counter" at Vassar) and gender dynamics (women's gossip, infidelity). The "Yankee mind deranged" section suggests anxiety about urban crime and moral decline. **Visual style**: Pen-and-ink illustrations accompany each anecdote, enhancing the comedic timing through exaggerated facial expressions and body language. The page is primarily entertainment—lighthearted domestic and social humor rather than serious political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE KNOCKED OUT. ANECDOTE OF THOMAS CARLYLE. Hitherto unthought of. (Purloiners warned off.) s¢Q)H. MR. CARLYLE!” exclaimed an oily adulator of the seer of Chelsea, “you have rifled the authors of ancient and of modern times of all their sweetness and light and have added thereto the luminous intuitions and virile philosophy of your own master-mind.” “T shall rifle you next!" replied Thomas with a ferocious smile or inau- dible snarl. “'*Rifle’ me, Mr. Carlyle? Oh, I should be most happy and proud to put you in possession of any fact or concept which I may have wrested from my studies and meditations and which you may deem worthy to form a part of your own august intellectual life. To adopt your characteristic per- sonal and piquant appli- cation of my poor word, for what, Mr. Carlyle, would you ‘rifle’ me?” “To put an end toa huxco-stexnen— ay SES 3 smooth bore,” savagely ** Hello! here comes g > } snapped the sage. ‘a good old country subject. I'll tackle him. Y, NO USE TO HIM. Tailor— Would you ALL ENC i like to have me put one of my patent seamless “t Ou aes 1 y ae Ade pockets in your trou- he suid to the man sibly lose any money from ufacturing jeweler > - = them." DIDN'T WANT TO MISS ANYTHING. ae reat nee Customer —"1 guess Rearcca—"' Fader, vas ve going to take a “Yes, sir. —Why, my dear old friend! So glad to meet ‘ sleeper-cat to St. Louis?” [would like to. you!) When did you get 1a? ‘How's your family? YOU 008 t know that I'am Meshes: : fs Gotpstxin—“ Nein, Rebecca; ve vill take a see you make the Ha, ha! that's good.” a married man. waker-car und see if ve gets our money's vorth.” welkin ring.” THE PREACHER’S MISFORTUNE. Mrs. Samfire—" Dr. Thirdly sprained his ankle yesterday.” ‘Mr. Samfire— Does that depose him from the ministry?” Mrs. Samfire— Of course not. What a ridie- ulous idea! Mr. Samfire—"\ didn’t know but that the accident had made a lame man of him.” Aili. 5 wor. 7 P mona aman Farmer—"' Wa-al, I'm sartinly glad ter meet somebody thet knows me, ‘cause —Lend me five dollars till I git up ter Hoss- I lost me pocket-book this mornin’ an’ heads." ain't got a cent.— . . CAN THE YANKEE MIND BE DERANGED? Primus—"A detective must understand human nature. Where would you look for a clew for that fellow who throws ink on fine dresses ?” Secundus— In the lunatic-asylums.” Primus—"Humph! I'd shadow the soap-peddlers.”” WHO.WILL FURNISH THE WHEREWITHAL? A NEW YORK philanthropist has just enlarged the skating-rink at Vassar.” “So lhear, All the college needs now is an endowed caramel-counter.” THE WRONG CONFIDANTE. A BALD FACT. Younc FraxkieicH —"' Hello, Wiggins! I congratulate Minnie—" Captain Foster has never paid you upon the wonderful change in your appearance. The last me any attention before, hut he danced with time we met you were as bald as an egg-plant. I see that the me four times last night.” hair-restorer has at last got in its good work.” - ; % Wiccins—"* Not at all; only made matters worse. Got hold Maud— Oh, well, it-was a charity ball, of my wife's hair-eradicator by mistake and that did the business.” you remember.” GOING BEFORE THE FOOT-LIGHTS, comicbooks.com