Judge — February 4, 1893 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TA SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. IFE is an agglomeration of in- congruities. Against vulgarity there is no defense. Itis easier to out-ridicule a folly than to out-reason it. Kindness too far extended becomes in the eyes of the recipient an obligation. The footstep of the fateful goddess Con- sequence may lag, but the weight of her hand is never lifted. A man can afford to be critical, not having been born with the incumbency of pleasing. The last probability is that money should produce happiness; what it does is to make happiness possible — sometimes. XATIORINE GROSEAN. ON A STRING. Lyre—"* You struck me!" Viotn —"' You're a lyre!" tins?” 3. guess not.” io en 'I'il make a bow and get out of the scrape.” DANGEROUS. THIS drinking ‘mongst our con- gressmen Should have no absolution ; For doctors tell, with tongue and pen, "Tis ‘gainst the constitution, WHY IT WAS. Husband —" Why do your clothes cost you a hundred dol- lars more this year than they did last? Aren't things cheaper?” Wife—"Yes, dear, that's just it. There are so many more bargains.” HER REBUKE. Larkin (at telephone)— “ Hello!" New girl (at central) —" Is that the way to address a lady who is a perfect stranger to you, sir?” A LUCKY FIND. Hazel—" How many over- coats have you, anyway? That isn’t the same one you had yes- terday, is it?" MY BEST GIRL. ALTHOUGH she hates all woman's rights, This fonny fact remains— When we go sleighing she delights To always hold the reins. ANECDOTE OF DR. ROBERT HALL. Now first invented, (Patent applied for.) STANCH admirer of William Pitt launched one day into a glowing eulogy of Chatham's son in the presence of the celebrated Baptist divine, Dr. Robert Hall— being unhappily ignorant of the fact that the doctor regarded the young prime minister as essentially an imp of Satan. The fiery and razor-tongued preacher listened with un- wonted forbearance, from inexpressible dis- gust, until the eulogist exclaimed, “And how profound is Pitt!" “Yes, sir,” thundered Dr. Hall, his face lighting up with its most formidable glare; “he is, indeed, sir. The bottomless pit!” LITERALLY SO. ALcy—" Have you heard about Checkerly? He's over head and ears in debt Cuoty—"'I know it I was with him when he bought a hat on credit the other day !" A AMPLE CAUSE FOR IT. THE EASIEST. LAW. physic or divinity— Which is the easiest of the three? Divinity ; because the fact is ‘Tis easier preaching than to prac- tice. WORTH MORE. Poet—“ How does it happen that you pay me two dollars more for this poem than for my last?” Editor —" This is two stan- zas shorter.” THE LATEST STYLE. Trivvet—"It Herodias were living now she would not demand John the Baptist’s head in a charger.” Dicer —“What would she want it in? Trivvet—1n an American tin plate.” THE ONLY ONE. SOYVHAT an atrocious pre- varicator that boy of Jennings’s the flovelist is!" Nutte— 1 couldn't “Mr, and Mrs. Brown have not been living together since his bank failure. ‘The “Yes. The lad is the only court separated them.” find mine when I came out. This What diveren?* imaginative work Jennings has one belongs to my sister.” “No; penitentiary.” produced.” comicbooks.com