Judge — January 14, 1893 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Miape Ameri. Bi LM. a Y mMarD GILLAm. iter. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. ONITED STATES AND CANADA, IN ADVANCE One copy, one year, or 52 numbers - $5: One copy, six months. or 26 numbers - 3.50 One copy. ior 13 weexs = = + a.ag Including the Cuistwas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—Te alt for- ign countries in the postal union, @ year. THe JUDGE PUBLISHING CQMPANY (JuDce BUILDING), Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York. reer circulation thay de POpera, Paris: Smith, Ainslee & at Saarbach's American’ Exchange, (7 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—All the pictures in the Juoce are copyrighted, ‘and must not be reproduced without the permission of the proprietors. Infringement upon this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. Mvewumpe REFORM—You elect the ticket, we take the offices. eee LITTLE CRISPS should be seen and not heard.—£, Ellery Anderson, THE PAPERS that are nominating Mr. Dana to office seem to forget that Ben Butler was not elected. WE CANNOT believe the story that Cleveland and Hill re- cently met and settled their differ- ences, because neither is dead. A CLERGYMAN of Ogdensburg tells of ten roads to hell from that place, modestly omit ence to the more magni which runs. into it. WE THINK we see Mr. Dana taking care of a foreign mis- sion presented him by Mr. Cleve- land; and yet Mr. Dana has no liking for the Cannibal islands. RANCIS MURPHY proposes to lecture on temperance be- tween the acts at theatres. Dear man, those who do not go out be- tween the acts are saved already. BSENCE OF MIND — The JupGe knows of a lady who looked five minutes for her spec- tacles. No, they were not on her forehead. She was looking through them during the entire search. foot-pedal mobements.” CANADA HAVING been annexed to the United States by the New York Sun, it remains only for our congress and the dominion parlia- ment to ratify and arrange the details. BouRKE COCKRAN is nominated by the Troy Press for orator at the world’s fair, It would never do. Mr. Cockran is a fine orator, but he would retract his oration just as soon as he had uttered it. ¢¢O POWER on earth can call me down,” says E. Ellery Anderson. Immaculate angel, if you have your wings on fly right to heaven— nobody uader the canopy wants to do anything but order you up. WHENEVER FRAN s in trouble the royalist surreptitiously pro- claims his schemes ; but the republic has lived long enough to make him a laughing-stock, and presently he will be noticed about as much as a fly on a pig’s ear. A MAJORITY of the legislature of South Dakota favor no change in the divorce laws of their state, And very naturally. Divorcing is a great legal industry, and if there were a change the state would be pretty nearly depopulated. A LITTLE PRACTICE BEFOREHAND, ** What yo" shakin’ yo" toes aroun’ dataway fo’, Asberry?” “Why, I’se ben takin’ lessons on de organ an’ am jus’ practicin’ a few HARRISON FOR '96? ‘THEY DO SAY thar President Harrison thinks it not impossible for him to be nominated and elected to a second term in ‘6. It is quite as reasonable as it would have been to predict that kind of glory for Mr. Cleveland in ‘88. That tariff business is mighty uncertain. A NEEDED REFORM. MB: DEACON was sued by the proprietor of the hotel in which he shot Abeille for damages in the staining of carpets and the mussing of furniture. We have long thought that in these cases the man shot should be kicked out of the window, to shed his blood and do his dying outside. TWO KINDS OF DEATH. 'HE CHAIR of electrocution worked so well in the case of the mur- derer McGuire that he never knew what hurt him. His victim knew what hurt her—she suffered the keenest agony for some time before dying. Something for the amelioration of murderers’ victims ought to be attempted by the humane, THE NATIONAL SENATE—MUGWUMP OR AMERICAN? T THE NEXT TAFFY-MEETING of the Reform club it is expecte. that appropriate ceremonies will be had to declare the “‘infallibility of Mr. Cleveland as a political pontiff. Each devotee will be expected to address him as his “complacency.” t Carl Schurz, drumming against the shell of his mugwump cocoon, is swiftly developing from a sycophant and is in hopes to be advanced to a parasite. ttt It is slowly dawning on the mind of the public that the recent Democratic educational campaign was in reality a successful effort for the “suppression of the truth,” Even the late showman Barnum, sitting aloft on the bulbous swell of a damp cloud, stays the twanging of his harp and looks down with envy at this greater achievement in duping the people The heretofore suspicion that Mr. Cleveland was entirely devoid’ of appreciation or gratitude is likely to receive full proof. This state at least was turned over to him by Tammany, and he now proposes to use that innocent and confidiny organization as his door-mat. Tammany was like the Chicago platform—not the thing to stand by, but, like a rail- road platform, a good thing to get in on, tht-t Mr. Edward Murphy is not the first Trojan to be betrayed by Greek duplicity and Greek gifts. It is too thin a deceit that New York city has the highest claim for senatorial representation. An idiotic excuse, how- ever, will answer better than none, li cannot be Murphy's lack of politi- cal skill—that has been proven—or his method of winning wealth, that breeds an attainder. Brewing at least is more honest than the legal larceny of railroad-stock jobbing. and as commendable as making the path of life slippery with Standard oil. It cannot be blood, for is not Irish stock fully as good as Hessian? Only one thing can be brought from the mugwump standpoint against Murphy—he is said to be a gentle man and lacks the lewdness that perhaps might stir Cleveland against him. tit t It is not at all’certain that the national senate will be Democratic. Governor Hill, assisted by Maynard, larcenied the state of New York. It is a greater task for Gorman and his helpmates to induct several states in- to stultifying the popular vote, Their bluster may be only a cover for cun- ning—a Falstaffian courage. It is probable that a barrier may yet be lifted against Democratic wreckage and the admission of states whose people are as alien as Europe. Utah, recruited from the dregs of foreign fanat- ical ignorance; New Mexico, populated with half-breeds of Indian and Mexican blood,'neither one nor the other has American experience, patri- otism or tradition. These proposed states, barred by Republican pro- test for further probation, are sure to be Democratic; Utah from motive of Mormon domination under state rights. and New Mexico easily cajoled into the same fealty through the overwhelming ignorance of its people. JA comicbooks.com