Judge — January 14, 1893 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE ESSENTIALS. SEC ARLING is going into play - writing. What are his qualifications ?” “Great, He can read French fluently and he has no conscience.” A TAILOR MAID. Goslin—"I'm very fond of Miss Fosdick.doncher knaw. Codling—" Ya-as. She's THE VERY LATEST. the most gentlemanly young lady of my acquaintance, aw.”” Wray WALKER—"* Great Scott! yer comes de conductor an’ I ain't got no ticket.” HAPPY LAND. TWO IRISHMEN who were admiring the Columbian parade in New Haven were in a maudlin state of contentment as {ree citizens of America and held the following conversation : Pat —"1 sa the finest procission Mike —" Megant loike now, isn’t it Pat?” Pat—“Couldn’t be bate, couldn't be bate. Look now, Mike, up and down the hull line, an’ it’s the finest procission | iver see—not a blamed yankee or a blasted nigger in the whole thing.” Mike— But 1 say, Pat, what's the reason they celebrate on the eleventt Pat—" Why, you see, Mike, Columbus landed on the eleventh, but he didn’t diskiver Americky ontil the twilfth.” ABOUT A STAND-OFF. The cholera scare was'a real benefit in inducing a general ee Coxpuctor—* Where's your ticket 7" ; Hat jus’ blowed out de winder wid de ticket Fangle— cleaning up. Cumso— Perhaps; but then it turned loose the oldest inhabitants with interminable cholera reminiscences.” HURT HIM. He—“Some things are awfully provoking. The other evening just as I was writing a note before going out to a reception I got an ink spot on my shirt-bosom. My room-mate was fearfully cut up about it.” She—“Why should he feel any worse than you?” He— his shirt. TANKS —"" The brute always recognized him by his voice, didn't he 2” Banks—" Oh, yes but it got to be a bother; more than half the time Soak was too full for utterance.” It was “OPEN FOR ENGAGEMENTS.” FATHER’S EMPTY CHAIR. TIlE happy home of yesterday to-day is full of gloom And mother's crying softly in a corner of the room ; We have no heart for anything, the room is cold and bare, And there in its accustomed place is father's empty chair. He was sitting here among us when the sudden seizure came, And we never had the least suspicion of his little game. The vacant place at table is a sad reminder still That father's in for seven years for robbing of a till, ALL HE COULD OFFER. Employer —" Jameson, you have been away from the office’a whole week without leave.” Jameson—" Yes, sit. 1 moved toa sub- urban village Monday. You know you said I might be absent Tuesday I missed the only morning train for the city. Wednesday I had to shovel the walks. Thursday I was ill. Friday I was better. Saturday I moved back to the city, and here I am.” Employer "And do you think I can let my _ business suffer while you are carrying. on like this ? Jameson—* Well, here's a thousand- mile ticket on the railroad- if it's of any use to you.” —an' don’t yer fergit it. Talk about yer Edisons " comicbooks.com