Judge — January 7, 1893 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

In all the world there is no maid Of whom I am as much afraid, And yet she is so small and fair, With sapphire eyes and spun-gold hair, That when she whispers “I love you” I simply say, in rapture true, * How do you do, Dorothy? Oh, Dorothy! how do you do?* PRARL RYTINGR. T 1S nouse, I've tried and tried ; I've vowed and prayed and sighed and sighed, ‘And even sworn. Confound it! still My stupid tongue defies my w For when that maiden comes in view * ‘This is the only way I woo— “How do you do, Dorothy? Oh, Dorothy! how do you do?” T'm sure my necktie isn't straight ; These boots are far too big for me My collar 's limp—at any rate ‘That I adore her she shall see. I try to think of something new; But there! T only stumble through ** How do you do, Dorothy? Oh, Dorothy ! how do you do?” HOW HE KEPT WARM. HOW HE WAS INTERESTED. SeYES, at times it's pretty chilly on the front end of a street-car,"he ¢« THIS BATTLE-FIELD has a deep interest for me,” said the visitor said as he gave the reins a shake. “’Tain’t so bad now, though, as he went over Gettysburg’s historic ground. as it was two or three years ago, when I was “You were a federal soldier, 1 sup- driving a night-car. Whew! but it was cold some of those nights. “How did I keep from freezing? That's what lots of people used to ask me, an’ I used to tell ‘em all the same thing—‘ Just by watching the windows along the line.” “Tt would be colder than icebergs when I'd start out, an’ pretty soon I'd be stamping “Then may I inquire why you are so greatly interested ?” “Certainly, sir. It was here that my substitute lost a leg.” my feet and swinging my free arm. Then I'd watch the windows along the street, an’ byme-by I'd see one with a big light inside an’ ‘Hot whisky’ painted on it. Whee! that would look good, though. I'd feel better right away. Then I'd see one with ‘Hot rum'on it, Whoo! I'd warm up some more. Mr. Slimson—* Well, here is the trunk, Next there'd be ‘Hot Scotch.’ Ob, me! oh, but no strap. Didn't he say anything about my! but wouldn't that look comforting! I'd = =>, the strap?” be as warm asa July day. An’ then I'd see = Willie—"Yes, sit; but 1 told him 1 “Tom an’ Jerry.’ Wow! Perspirin'—that's NOT IN IT. guessed you hadn't better have any strap.” ON THE SAFE SIDE. Mr. Slimson—“ Willie, didn't you go to the trunk-maker's yesterday and tell him to send around the trunk I ordered ?” Willie—" Ves — what I'd be by that time, I'd be so warm. “That's what imagination will do for a fellow, sir. It's true as gospel; an’on the upper tad of my Tun, where there wasn’t any signs, I'd cool off so quick I'd catch cold. Yes, sir; I've caught many a cold cthat way.” ELLIOTT rLowER. BY WAY OF ADVICE. BE CAREFUL walking on the side- Walk. Pray do not neglect it; Because you always find the slide Just where you don't expect it. A GOOD TITLE. ‘¢]'VE WRITTEN an ode to Chicago.” “Really? What have you called it—tAn Ode to the Windy City"?" : ‘An Ode to my olian Hom FATE, OFF FOR THE WORLD'S FAIR. g HE fs Ragrosts Fol dev lan’ sake VAsbery [Nwlind's Mem slips eros ofice table Cees tickets on yo" ear fo'?" portly son alee ,, Astexky—" Mudder sewed mah railroad-tickets on That one can miss the biggest things, so's I kain’t lose um.” Yet hit the pane of glass. GOT THERE LATE. Ile took her to the matinée, * And they were two hours late Because she went back fourteen times “Yo put her hat on straight. comicbooks.com