Judge — December 31, 1892 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

474 JUDGE COLD-WEATHER VAGARIES. EW-YEAR 'S resolutions are like a fool's money—they don’t last. Jibbs, my droll bachelor friend, says he knows how to keep his hands warm. He in- tends this winter to wear the mittens that various young la- dies have given him. Gentlemen should not feel mortified because their wives do not wear a sealskin sacque. It is a very expensive garment, and does not look respectable after it is worn out, How many people remark, “Oh, how much more I prefer the beautiful summer to the bleak winter!" In the sweltering days of July the same people wish it were about the middle of January. The winter is king, alack a day! He creates titles for men, they say. At least by this monarch some men are made “Coal barons” because they succeed in trade. SOMETHING NEW ON FOOT. But at whose expense are their titles won? Oh, shameless dealers, what have you done? You have robbed all men and made the poor To beg their warmth from door to door, During slippery weather men should always smoke out of doors and scatter their cigar-ashes along the icy pavements. By doing this some poor leg may escape breakage and thousands of dollars be saved by the house-owner in front of whose premises such an accident might occur. Lon sean, IT PAYS To MAKE a good inning & At new year’s beginning If you can’t see the way Bills outstanding to pay, At least have the good sense To pay—compliments. HER FEARS. Museum-attendant —' There's been a terrible -row in the freak- hall, and the fat woman swears she will die of hydrophobia.” Manager —" Ob, nonsense! What put that into her head?” Alterdant she has just been bitten by the dog-faced boy.” Tue PLuMnRR— Heer Dunvers 0 ahead. —"* Dhanks.” Jounsiz—"* Mamma, what is the man shooting pistols for?” Mamma —“'Oh, it's. the conductor shooting holes in the tickets.”” COULDN’T TRANSLATE HIM. +4] DON’T think Finette understands baby,” said Mr. Mawson as the wails from the nursery continued, “I'm afraid not; but why should she?" asked Mrs. M. “Finette is a French nurse and Tommy is an American baby.” BEFORE AND AFTER. MIDNIGHT was past. He started to go home (His promised bride was she), And fondly gazing on her said, “You're very dear to me.” Christmas was past. He started to go out. (Ilis six-months’ bride was she.) He gazed upon the bills and sighed “You're very dear to me!" LENA GILBERT RROWH-PORD. A SEVERE METHOD. Briggs—"\ hear you are in training for the foot-ball team. What kind of work are you do- ing?” Griggs—"1 go shopping with my fiancée twice a week.” Tue rLumBer—" Git out, yer Dutch hog !” A CASE OF UNDER-ESTIMATION, comicbooks.com