Judge, 1892-11-26 · page 10 of 18
Judge — November 26, 1892 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects brief Thanksgiving-themed comedic sketches typical of Judge magazine's satirical humor. **"Almost Came to Blows"** depicts a restaurant mishap where two men's feet collide under a table. The joke's point: they nearly fight over the insult ("your legs are long"), but immediately become friendly upon realizing the collision was accidental—satirizing how men's pride and quick temper can escalate trivial incidents, yet civility dissolves conflict just as easily. **Other sketches** include wordplay and visual gags: a man visiting his girlfriend on Thanksgiving because the president's proclamation mentions "places of worship"; a dead turkey ("Hic jacet"); turkeys dreading the holiday; and a vain gobbler. The final cartoon shows a deli owner forgetting to secure pungent limburger cheese before health inspectors arrive. The humor is genteel, relying on puns, mild social observation, and slapstick rather than sharp political satire. These appear designed as filler content around advertisements in this era's humor magazine.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ALMOST CAME TO BLOWS. . HEY were seated on opposite sides of the restaurant table and their feet collided beneath it. Of course both looked up. “I beg your pardon,” said one. “I didn’t know they were so long.” “What?” asked the other sharply. retorted the first. ‘There was a pause, during which there seemed to be every prospect of serious trouble. Then the second asked fiercely, “ Whose ?” The proprietor of the place picked up a mallet and moved toward the table, prepared to maintain order, but pleasantly the answer came, Mine. My long legs are always getting me into trouble.” Not at all, not at all,” protested the other, suddenly be- coming affable. “I'm deucedly awkward in handling my feet.” “ But I assure you, sir, it was all my fault.” “Certainly not. I shot my shanks out as if I were sitting at the end of a ten-foot table.” ‘The proprietor put his mallet away and muttered, “It’s funny how men will act. There was a fight on sure if either had said the oth- er's legs were long or in the way.” riuorr riowen, OBEDIENCE, Kissam—"1 am go- ing to see my best girl on Thanksgiving day. Huggins—*Why on that day especially ?” Kissam — “ Because the president in his proc- lamation tells us to repair to our places of worship.” AMATEU the gobbler. of Thanksgiving day HIC JACET! Don't idly pass him by. Thanksgiving filled him full of joy And too much pumpkin pie. NOTHING IN IT. ManTON Diner —*Waiter, bring me a cup of hot AT THE OBELISK IN CENTRAL PARK. JUST A QUESTION OF TIME. Ant EpiTor—"* Your work will not do now. It is too scratchy. Only a question of time, though, and you'll be all right.”” Well, how long a time?” Ant EDITOR—"* Eighty years or so.” A TIME TO BE DREADED. . wy do you look so dismal, Father William?” said the young turkey to “ My son,” replied the mature bird, “Tam reflecting on the near approach with the certainty that many of our number will be knocked into the middle of necks tweak.” THE HAPPY TAILOR. JST now I'm very sure your heart Should be with thanks profuse, If turkey falls not to your part You always have a goose. J THE VAIN GOB- BLER. Jaggles—"1 wonder what Shakespeare was thinking of when he spoke of ‘Strutting his brief water.” Mrs. Farmer Ryesrep—" That monument must be put up fer General Washington. You hour’?” Waiter—"Yes, sab, know he fit right here a hundred years ago.” (To cook) One eup ob Farser Ryeseep—" Yes, | guess you're right Baptist soup.” "cause I can't read it.” TOO STRONG FOR THE COMBINATION. “Oh, Jakie. better oof you vould pud dese limburger cheese in der safe g ‘Mandy. I s'pose it was of them New York dudes, who wanted to be so English that they wrote the stu! Wag gles —“About ut up by some Pe as fron it'in British, Thanksgiving time it ap- plies to the fat turkey.” dill do-morrows. 1 hear «lot dem cholera-inshpectors be here do-night. Gif (Early next morning.) “Ach, himmel! 1 feergot all apout dose dangers.” der gombination a goot twist.” comicbooks.domal