Judge, 1892-11-12 · page 5 of 16
Judge — November 12, 1892 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects brief satirical jokes and observations typical of Judge's social humor. Key pieces include: **"Listened to the Appeal"**: A minister criticizes a parishioner (Mr. Hardsense) for not donating during a church collection for African missions. The joke's punchline—that merely thinking about the poor counts as charity—mocks both stingy congregants and hollow religious sentiment. **"Charity"**: A racist caricature of an enslaved or formerly enslaved Black man (Rastus) stealing a chicken, claiming "humanity" motivated him. The satire targets white rural proprietors and the supposed moral superiority of the poor. **"A Difference in Cash"**: A transatlantic joke suggesting American fathers demand payment when their daughters marry Englishmen, implying Americans are mercenary compared to proper English folk. **"No Satisfaction"**: A temperance speaker's circular logic with a drunk—each drink is "necessary," and necessity occurs whenever one drinks—mocks anti-alcohol activists and alcoholics' rationalizations. The illustrations throughout feature period-typical sketch work, reinforcing Judge's satirical tone targeting Victorian social pretensions and hypocrisy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE io sige] SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. N UNPLEASANT truth is avenged by unshrinking falsehood. Art is but an indifferent stepmother to nature's children. No one makes a prediction that he would not like to see fulfilled. If ill is to be done the conventions of propriety need not be departed from to do it. Women most often admire men for qualities of which they are not possessed. ‘There is something cruel in the triumphal car of youth over-riding an old age without triumphs. It may hap that the finished musician is too skillful to be reverent, too brilliant to be sympathetic. Instead of making of himself a reed for the gods to breathe through he sends a blast into the face of the Al- mighty. XATHRINE GROSJEAN, LISTENED TO THE APPEAL. Minister —" Mr, Hardsense, 1 didn’t see you put anything on the plate this morning when I made an appeal to the congregation to think of the heathen in central Africa.” Mr. Hardsense—" Well, I thought of them.” CHARITY, Farmer (emerging from shadow of hen-kouse)—"' Hold on there, you old rascal! I saw you coming an’ I jest thought you wouldn't be able to go by that pullet.”” *Rastus— Go by dat pullet?_ No, sah—reckon not, sah! I'se got some human'ty in me, sah. Yo' didn’t s'pose I cud see a po’ chicken roost out a freezin’ night laik dis, did yo'?” EVERY MAN HIS OWN WASHERWOMAN. +s]JOW DO you keep your collars so bright and clean these dusty days?” “They're made of celluloid, and'I polish them up with tooth-powder twice a day.” A DIFFERENCE IN CASH. + THERE'S a gweat diffewence between English and Amewican gurls, doncherknow,” observed Lord Borely. “Yes,” replied Miss Flypp. “When an, Englishmcn marries an English girl her father gives her away; but if he marries an American he expects her father to pay him for doing it.” NO SATISFACTION. Temperance speaker—"And how oft- en, young man, do you take a drink?” Young man—" Every (hic) time it is necessary.” Temperance speaker —“And how oft- en is it necessary ?” Young man— Every time I take a (hic) drink.” SHE LIKED THEM. Hz—"Oh, Miss Susie! is dat white powdah on yo' face fo' yo’ com- plexion, or jes’ fo’ a beauty-mark?” Sue—“No, indeed, Claude, I'’se jes’ been eatin’ marsh-meller drops. Swipe it offen me, won'tin yo' 7" THE STALKER STALKED. Lorp Verisorut—'“At lawst I have a bird within gunshot. —Blawst me blooming eyes ! what's that? comicbooks.com