Judge — October 29, 1892 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

284 JUDGE: ry} THE DIFFERENCE. 1 PROVE that our fashions are very unstable,” Quoth Jones to a friend as they sat at the table, “Tl tell you what people first ask in New York"- ‘And he lifted a piece of roast-duck on his fork— “And then what in Boston they deem it polite To ask of the introduced stranger on sight. In Gotham they ask, ‘ Well, what are you worth?” As if gold were ail they esteemed upon earth. In the Hub people ask, with their features aglow, *I'm pleased, sir, to meet you, but what do you know?" Los sean GROVER’S VISION—THE MUGWUMP’S HEREAFTER. G. C. at the gate of the celestial city. St. Peter (loq.)—"" Who are you? G. C.—"Grover Cleveland, ex-president of the United States of America.” St. Peter (searching records)—"H'm! Name is not here; best apply gate below.” [Exit G. C. G.C. at entrance of the nether regions. Lucifer (interloq.)—"" Who are you and where from?” —"I am Grover Cleveland, TURN ABOUT IS FAIR PLAY. ex-president of the United States of WALL-STREET BANKER (tho has taken tie wrong road to Claremont}—" May 1 warm America.” myself at your fire, my friend? I’m all chilled through.” Lucifer (examining his‘ books)— PRDALKINK (the tramp)—" Why don't yer go t’ work an’ git a fire of yer own? Move - on now oF J sics the dog on yer. “Sorry, but your name is not men- SATISFACTORY. ‘6 BEFORE 1 take board with you,” said the applicant, “I wish to know if you ever have prunes on the table.” “No, sir,” replied Mrs. Small; “we never have anything so common. The nearest I come to that is to serve the prunus do- mestica in a variety of delicious ways.” “Ah, that is entirely satisfacto NO USE FOR HIM. He—"Don't you think I would make a good husband? 1 have such good taste in woman's dress that I could help you select all your gowns.” ““ But there is one objection to that.” He—" What, pray?” She—"\f I married you I would have to get them all be- MIs SPITE. . * What am I to do? Mamma is coming and the cook has gone home for two we Newwep—"'Go right along and cook the dishes your mother taught you to make. I've got age and a strong constitution in my favor.” tioned here. You had better inquire at the gate above.” G. C—"But I have been there, and as I was not known there I was referred to you.” Lucifer—"H'm! that is very strange. I really don’t know what todo. Oh, I have it! I'll give you a bundle of straw and a match. You can make a place for yourself.” LIKE AN OLD HAND. Epiron—"' The beginner you asked me to take on the THE indispensa- reportorial staff goes at it like an old hand.” i ‘Sracen—* What has he done?” Biss sevant. is Eprror—" He has killed off the oldest mason in the ™aster of the situ- United States three times this week.” ation, UNGRATEFUL. *Rastus—" Ef yo’ ain’ ungrateful! Yer yo" dun foun’ a dollah an’ woan’ gib it to yo’ pap, when I’se bin buyin’ yo’ clo’s fo’ yeahs.”” comicbooks.com