Judge, 1892-09-24 · page 5 of 16
Judge — September 24, 1892 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple unrelated satirical vignettes typical of Judge's humor: **"The New Gold-Cure"**: Jokes that a man became "different" after marrying an heiress—implying wealth transforms people, satirizing gold-digger marriages. **"Patience Needed"**: A landlord delays showing a lake to a tourist until it rains, mocking rural hospitality and false advertising. **"Out of Season"**: A man claims to work as Santa Claus only seasonally for Sunday schools, satirizing part-time or questionable employment. **"Mrs. Mawkins Abroad"**: A woman confuses Pompeii with Vesuvius, claiming the volcano erupted "saliva"—mocking ignorant tourists and malapropisms. **"They Had It"**: A waiter adds ketchup to consumé to pass it off as tomato soup—satirizing cheap restaurant fraud. **"The Next Time He Used the Telephone"**: A series of sight-gags showing a man being beaten with household objects by a collector, professor, and others during phone conversations—physical comedy about debt collection. These are disconnected jokes targeting class pretensions, rural/urban misunderstandings, and everyday absurdities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE NEW GOLD-CURE. . + JOBSON is a different man since he tried the gold-cure.” “I didn’t know he drank to excess.” “He didn’t. He was poor and he married an heiress.” PATIENCE NEEDED. New arrival—If you'll show me where it is Ill take a spin on that lake that you advertised.” Landlord (ot country hotel)—“‘ Can't you wait for a day or two?” New arrival—" What for?” Landlord—“ Until we have a shower.” OUT OF SEASON. Mx, TavLor—* What is your trade then? You say you're not working at it.” No Frittex—'' I'm Santa Claus every winter fer de Sunday-school. See?” MRS. MAWKINS ABROAD. + [JID you see Vesuvius, Mrs. Mawkins, when you were in Italy?” “Yes, indeed. We spent a morning at the ruins of Pompey. THEY HAD IT. It must have been awful when that volcano began pouring out them ashes and saliva over things.” WAITER (through the kitchen windore)—"* Spill some catchup in de consumme. Dey’s a gent wantin’ tomato soup.” p= Z GZ = I must have that money to-day. Stop practicing and Proressor Foorer—" What !— pay me, [need it.” —You mean— that a-way tome? I'll shake you out of your skin. THE NEXT TIME HE USED THE TELEPIIONt. comicbooks.com