Judge, 1892-08-13 · page 5 of 18
Judge — August 13, 1892 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains several disconnected satirical pieces mocking contemporary American social issues: **"Women on Trusts"** jokes about legal trusts—wealthy estates placed under trustee control. A woman complains that her father's will grants her only milk *income* from a cow, not ownership, satirizing how trusts restricted women's financial autonomy. **"Old Chocolate's Jocoserious Chat"** presents folk wisdom in dialect from an African American character, a common (if problematic) *Judge* format of the era, offering homespun philosophy on morality and wealth. **Seashore customs** mockingly describe a mother's concern about her daughter swimming, who reassures her by noting the daughter only wears a "Sunday bathing-suit"—implying full coverage prevented impropriety. **Suburban life** satirizes commuters' absurd logic: rushing to catch trains they'll miss anyway. **Romance sketches** humorously depict young courtship and class anxieties about bicycles and rental debts. The overall tone targets upper-middle-class pretensions, gender restrictions, and social hypocrisy typical of 1890s *Judge* content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WOMEN ON TRUSTS. £R—"* Do you approve of trusts, Susan?” When papa died he left everything in trust He left us an eighteen-quart cow. day for my share, and the trustees won't even let me milk the cow myself.” JONATHAN GRAN Susan Roses ar to us nine girl quarts of milk just hate trusts, Jonathan. ¢ only get the income. OLD CHOCOLATE’S JOCOSERIOUS CHAT. A HOMELY hahness kain’t spile a good hoss. A frien’ in de mabkit ain’t allus de same 'z a babgin. Ef yo! feel dat yo’ kain’t ‘splain bettah keep yo" mouf shet. Dar er bad spots in de bes’ men, jes’ 'z dar er weeds in de bes’ gahdens. * Kindah hahd toe re'lize dat lyin’ er wicked w'en yo" see de people dat git along by De man yo" punish fo stealin’ yo" hens may men’ his ways, but de fellah dat doan’ git caught won't. De ole-fashion’ theology er much mo’ ‘fe now-days in de summah-time dan durin’ a hahd wintah. W'en de rich man gits toe goin’ toe hebben on a special train an’ totin’ ‘is money wid ‘im den ‘Il be de time toe envy ‘im. Ef dey wuz toe be anoddah flood an’ anoddah Noah folks ‘d laugh jis’ ‘z much at de ark ‘'z dey did befo’, an’ dar ‘d be jis’ 'z many caught in de rain. J A. WALDRON, CUSTOMS AT THE SEASHORE. Anxious martma— Where is Miss Ethel?” Maid— You'll find her sitting on the sand at the beach, ma‘am.” Anxious mamma—"\ hope she hasn't ventured into the surf?" Maid—* No fear of that, ma'am. Sunday bathing-suit.” She put on her 101 LIFE IN THE SUBURBS. ‘THERE'S my train!" exclaimed the suburbanite after swallowing a mouthful of hot coffee. “Why, you never catch the 7:10, James.” “No; but if I start for it I generally get the 8:05, and I don’t want to be late this morning.” And a moment later he was running for dear life. THE DAY OFF. THE SUMMER ’'s with us once again With all its joy and sorrow. To-day you plan to leave your den And flee afar the haunts of men, To find it rains to-morrow. THEY GENERALLY GET THINGS REVERSED. Miss Belle—"\ am afraid that the Van Wranglers will remain in the city this summer.” Mamma—" How so? Miss Belle—"Why, 1 see that the papers an- nounce their intention of spending the season at Bar Harbor.” WITH ROD AND SLIPPER. $6 JOHNNY'S mother, has forbidden his going swimming, but he says he'll break. the rule more than once.’ “Then I predict a very warm summer —for Now, I get only two FROM THE SUBLIME. Mr. Jenntncs—''I could jes’.ride on fo'ebber wif yo’, Miss Edif.” Miss Epir—"''Deed yo’ couldn't, Yo'd have dat bicycle-bazar man aftah us fo' de rent wif a gun; sho’ ‘nough we would.” Things are not just what they seem. A beautiful profile may hide a multitude of—faults, comicbooks.com