Judge, 1892-07-30 · page 7 of 16
Judge — July 30, 1892 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge magazine contains multiple short jokes and satirical pieces typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"A Raggedy Rhyme"** mocks Irish immigrant speech patterns, depicting children playing a prank with a carpet tack on a teacher's chair. **"International Conversations"** offers political satire about European leaders—President Carnot of France and Kaiser Wilhelm of Germany—through a joke about purchasing a dog, likely referencing contemporary diplomatic tensions. **"A Wrong Application"** uses racial dialect humor about a Black man injured during his honeymoon, exploiting stereotypical speech. **"No Evasion Necessary"** satirizes Prohibition-era liquor dealers claiming they operate in prohibition states, hence face no evasion challenges. The remaining items are brief social observational humor about marriage, courtship, bankruptcy, and financial pretense—typical Judge content mocking middle-class American life. The page reflects period attitudes toward immigrants, race, and class that modern readers would find offensive.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A RAGGEDY RHYME, EACHER said ve uvver day He liked to see ve child’en play Tag and pom-pom pull- away— Liked to see ve little folks Laugh an’ holler an’ make jokes. Vough it would be better fun If vere was some point to one. *At’s what me an’ Jackie done. Made a joke, did me an’ Jack— Made it wiv a carpet-tack. Set it up in teacher's chair ; Didn't tell him it was vere. Ain't it wrong for folks to swear Even vhen vey go an’ sit On a joke wiv point to it? a KONNETT F. MARRS INTERNATIONAL CON- VERSATIONS. President Carnot—" Kaiser, don’t you want to buy a dog?” Withelm—* Cenainly. How much do you ask for yourself?” << Pat (just landed, reading sign)—"*1t's sorry Oi am fer yez, Mishter Kiln, bat, bedad ! Oi'll hov t’ ap- ploy fer yure job.” NOT SURE ABOUT IT. }OVYVHAT was the text, my son?” “I forget, pa;but it was from the second chapter of St. Paul.” “St. Paul, efi?” - “Well, I don't ‘know. I might have been Minneapoli THE WISEACRE. MARVEL not he thinks he's strong, And in it so delights ; Me won't admit he's ever wrong, Tecause he's never right. A SATISFIED MAN. Mrs, Cumso (entering the carriage after the entertainment) —"Did you like the concert, dear?” Cumso— Yes, love; every thing except the music.” A WRONG APPLICATION, ** Pull dat out'n my kinks, will yo’, doctah ?” Puysician—' What happened? Mule kick you?” Mr, WADLEIGH—"* No, sah. I wur jes’ stabtin’ on my weddin’-trip, en d’ bride's mother frowed it at me fer lick.” NO EVASION NECES- SARY. 8 A PROHIBITION TOWN, “How do you evade the law?” was asked of a liquor- dealer, “ What law?” “Why, the law forbidding the sale of liquor.” “ My friend, you don’t seem to understand that this is a'pro- hibition state.” SAD. ss WHEN on the land I'm very brave— ‘As brave as brave can really be; But even my poor life to save [cannot hold my own at sea. THE CAUSE OF IT. Rudworth —" Smythe has resumed his original name of Smith.” Chubbs— How is that?” Rudworth—" He went into bankruptcy yesterday.” FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS. Mixe—“* Begob! Oi'll give thot mon foive moor minnits t cum oor Oi'll take me fate in. Oi can’t shtand this divilish cowld draft over me.” 7 UNDIGESTED. ‘6A RENT you the same tramp T gave a piece of pie to last year?” asked the farmer's wife. “Yes, ma‘am,” returned the tramp, putting his hand on his stomach, “I have it yet.” CONTRAST. A WILD, late supper with the boys! My wife waits up, I fear; And thus I come “from grave to gay, From lively to severe,” A CLOSE OBSERVER. Sweet séxteen "What a handsome young man that is!" Sweet eighteen" We's en- gaged.” Sweet sixteen —"How do you know?” : Sweet eighteen— His coat- sleeves bag at the elbows.” A GOOD CURVE. Harry —" Heavens! what's the matter with that man coming down the street?” CHAKLiz—"*Oh, he's the fa- mous curved pitcher on the Balti- more nine.” POOR FELLOW! ‘6ETULLO, Browne!” said Hicks. “I haven't seen you in an age. Where do you live when you are home?” “I don’t live till T get away from home,” said Browne sa ly, “I married a widow with five children.” SUBSTANTIAL CREDIT. Hobbs—"I think young Smith deserves a lot of credit for keeping up so fine an estab- lishment on so small an in- come.” Dobbs—" Well, he gets it. He owes pretty nearly every- body around town,” comicbooks.com