Judge — July 2, 1892 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Dunkey—"* Step around to the other side of the case, Rertha, There's the finest pair of old mummies there in the collection.” WHY SOME PEOPLE LIKE THE FOURTH. BECAUSE it’s one holiday more a year anyhow. Because one may get dizzy and be forgiven. so much nearer to the next public Because it gives them a chance to go fishing and lie about it. Because the dear girls at home put extras on the dinner-table. Because their love of noise is second only to their love of peanuts. Because the troublesome small boys have a chance to kill themselves. Because they may show off the latest thing in tennis-blazers and yachting-suits. Because it gives them a whole day for love- making and love's ineffable ineffableness. Because roasting potatoes in a bonfire is a pleasure not experienced every day in the year. Because they may make the same patriotic speeches they made list year and the years befere. Because one may go out into an open lot, ““Thave an idea!” AT THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM, Mr. Camzaway—"' Hold my grip a minnit, Huldy. a-brewin’ fer some one.” They's trouble play ball in the hot sun for four hours and think it fun, Because it's jolly good fun to go to the race- track and come home with empty pockets and a full philosophy. HOIST BY HIS OWN PETARD. ARD was the luck the youngster ran on ; His chance for life is rather slim. He undertook to fire his cannon And found the cannon fired him. WHAT HE REGRETTED. Willie Snively (sympathizing with the victim of an exploded toy-cannon)—“ Poor Sammy! the doctor cut off two of your fingers and spoiled your fourth, didn’t he Sammy Snodgrass—*\es. 1 wouldn't have minded that; but after the doctor was gone pop wouldn't let me shoot any more, and it was only four o'clock too.” Miss Foorri “This is ver not be finishe: To?" rR (of the Casino)— aggravating. My skirt will until to-morrow, What shall Daily press the next morning—" The greatest feature in the new opera was the short-metre dance by Miss. Footflinger, who has an original costume “Ha, hat Justa fit!” made by Worth.” UTILIZING THE LAMP-SHADE. comicbooks.com |