Judge, 1892-06-04 · page 5 of 16
Judge — June 4, 1892 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical sketches and humorous anecdotes typical of Judge's content. The cartoons mock social pretension and American manners: **"His Waterloo"** mocks a tough adventurer (implied to be Theodore Roosevelt-type figure, given Harvard and big-game hunting references) undone by fashion—buying a red necktie at a "cowboy ball" proves his ultimate defeat. **"The Best Way"** jokes about American dueling customs through a foreigner's amazement that Americans "duel" with lawyers rather than swords. **"His Disease"** darkly humors that wearing formal dress to a Western event is literally fatal. **"It Costs Money"** satirizes wealthy parents' complaints about college expenses, with a father misunderstanding his son's "physical-culture" exercise damages clothes. The page also includes aphoristic "Sentences Passed by the Judge"—moralizing observations on human nature and civilization, a recurring Judge feature providing gentle social commentary. The overall tone is lighthearted mockery of American social climbing, pretension, and generational conflict.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IT IAD faced a dozen roar; HIS WATERLOO. cannon In the midst of battle's Had a hand-to-hand encounter With a Mexican ontlaw. "Way off in the western mountains Te'd throttled a big biack bear, And in an African jungle ‘Tracked tigers to their lair. He had played foot-ball at Harvard And nearly lost an eye, But met at last his Waterloo And bought a red necktie, KoRGH p. SUTTOX, THE BEST WAY. +6 DO YOU never fight duels in America?” he asked. “Oh, yes; frequently,” re- turned the American, “With what weapons gen- AFTER THE INTRO- DUCTION. Mrs. Trotter —" Haven't 1 seen you somewhere Cholly (bashtully) likely. I—I—go there occasion- y. OtD Goupacre (to young ally. Younc SrenpFast—"' Oh, no; .not So bad as that. HIS DISEASE. —'*T just got word from the west that Charlie Sprucer is dead.” fig Poor fellow! What did he die of?" A silk hat at a cowboy ball." A BRAVE PARISIAN. N PARIS, Office-boy—" That mad member of the chamber of deputies is com- ing up the stairs armed with a sword.” Editor —" Let him come. have my pen handy.”" THE BALLAD-MONGER. "THOUGHT poetry your bosom burn It's little short of crime, When prose will answer every turn, To put it into rhyme. WHAT ANNOYED HER? Miss Bleecker —" Sue Manbat- tan got her back up yesterday.” ‘Miss Emerson (of Boston)— “What caused her to elevate her vertebral column?” Timorny Bivyerns (examining obelisk) — ** Waal, ef all o' them dashes stands fer cuss-words them Egypt’ns wuz terrors, b’gosh !” NOT SO MEAN’ AS THAT. Spendfast)—"' Well, I suppose you want to take my daughter away from me?” Tonly want to marry her. IT COSTS MONEY. Faxmer MextHo—'" George has only been in college two months and he writes that he has had to order two new suits and wants me to send him some more money.” Mrs, MENTHOL—"‘ For the land's sake! how does the boy manage to wear out so many clothes?” Fauser MentHoL—"'I guess it's all right, Maria. He says that it’s hard on clothes because one of their physical- culture exercises is picking up chips.” SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. APPRECIATION waits on contrast. One has little to fear from a generous enemy. Hope must find root in a moderate degree of expec- tation. Friends are not subject to barter, transference or exchange. In its gentle service for civilization the heart has done more than the head. The morbid mind is generally one which lacks a good memory for forgetfulness. Chieftainship, the divine right of kings, which had its very natural origin in the superiority of the few, will as naturally disappear with the growing equality of the many. KATHRINE GROSJEAM, | comicbooks.com