Judge, 1892-06-04 · page 4 of 16
Judge — June 4, 1892 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humor pieces typical of late 19th-century American satire, mixing social commentary with ethnic stereotyping. **"Very Natural Conclusion"** mocks Irish immigrants through dialect humor—O'Reilly mistakes olives for plums and assumes anything from Spain must have traveled in steerage (the cheapest ship accommodations), implying poor Irish passengers were unsophisticated. **"Baby Wanted"** jokes about using a baby's crying to hail a streetcar—dark humor about urban life and noise pollution. **"What He Wanted"** subverts romantic expectations: after three months of courtship and an emotional confession scene, the young man merely wants his borrowed dress shirt back—satirizing shallow materialism masquerading as sentiment. **"He Was Not a Repeater"** presents a child refusing to retell a dog story multiple times, playing on the phrase "repeater" (someone who repeats experiences). The remaining pieces use Irish-dialect humor and working-class scenarios for comedic effect, reflecting period attitudes toward immigrant communities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
376 FLOWERS. E HAVE no fitting words to show Our sorrow for the dead, And were it not for flower-speech Our grief were left unsaid. But where the human lips are dumb, The flowers, heaven sent, In heaven's own dialect, our grief With speech makes eloquent. M. PHELPS DAWSON. VERY NATURAL CONCLUSION. O'Reilly (being entertained by the cook, who produces a bottle of olives) —“ You'll exchuse me, Norah, but it’s me privit apinyin that these plums is shpoiled.”” Norak—* Shure, thim is not plums; thim is alives, an’ they kim from Shpain.” O'Reilly—“ Be hivins! thin they must have kim in the shtecrage.” BABY WANTED. Mrs. Bingo (on the corner)—" There you didn’t shout half loud enough for that car, or we might have caught it.” Bingo—"1 shouted as loud as I could. 1 only wish that baby were here.” HE WANTE! Birrep McTAsu (the tramp, as the rescuers reach him) —"* Say, fellers, do me a favor, will yer?” Deck-HAND —"' That's what we're here for.” Birrep McTasi—"'I know, but won't you jest swash me ‘round a bit when you haul me out? Tain’t ben in water afore fer goin’ on ten year.” WHAT HE WANTED. *+/MfISS QUILLCUT,” said the young man earnestly, “*I have been calling on you steadily for the last three months and it is perhaps fitting that now I should approach you on a subject that has been engrossing my attention for some time. I may say,” he continued, as the fair young creature drew closer to him, prepared to nestle in the strong arms that were all his, “I may say that I believe the time has come for me to speak. Do you remember, Miss Clara, one evening two months ago, as we were sitting side by side, the door was suddenly thrown open and your elder brother entered and whispered something in my ear?” “but George, dear, what has that to do with the subject in “ Only this,” he hissed through his set teeth, “that I want to get back that dress shirt he borrowed.” HE WAS NOT A REPEATER. Taner 2 Well “ean Le for JOO? ci wacadi Ti Father —* Come, now, Bobby, tell me about that dog once more.” NGRY HouRLY— a young lady jilted me, an : pic dies 5." Waits ‘tee Sus hee Cather Ter ten thoseend doliece Bobby (petulantly) ain’t goin’ t’ tell that so many once-es. IASTICAL SURPRIS! Mrs. Torreittar—"' For mercy's sake! hurry, Thomas, ‘The bishop is —"‘All's lost, ma'am! Ilis riverince shtarted up jist as th’ R ing from his carriage, and there's no carpeting on the front steps,” ._car-rpet shtarted down.” comicbooks.com