Judge — May 28, 1892 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE HAD HIS REVENGE. ELL, I was in the confed- erate army myself, an it,” observed a man in the Quohosh post-office after the habitues had discussed the Decora- in the federal arm; been in the war at all. conflict. It is passing strange how men will lie merely to see how far they can get away from the truth without being lost. “T was in the sixth Texas in- fantry.” “And I was a corporal in the twenty-fifth Rhode Island.”” “You don’t say!” “Ido, andif I remember rightly your regiment was captured by ours at the battle of Gettysburg.” “ Well, most of the regiment was captured, I'll admit, but I wasn't.” “No?” “No, sir. We were all surround- ed, but I fought my way through a mass of Yanks and had almost reached a place of safety when an- other of ‘em, who was detached from his regiment, rushed at me with his bayonet. He was bigger than I was and comparatively fresh, while I was nearly exhausted from fighting my way, but I managed to knock his bay- onet aside and club him with the butt of my musket. Down he dropped like an ox. I didn't stop to see whether I had killed him or not, but took to my heels and got safely away.” “Would you know the man you clubbed if you were to see him again I don't know. time ago.”” “Well, my friend, I was man, I wasn’t dead. pretty badly, thoug! It was a long that hurt . and my feelings T was Meacner—"* Lave me kiss him wanst, th’ dar-rlip’.” tion-day parade and the great conflict which made a memorial day i possible. “I'm glad to meet you, my friend, although I was * replied a big man who had not In fact he was a comparatively recent importation from England, but he thought he could draw out the alleged rebel veteran, really as innocent as himself of all participation in the vho was A DISCOURAGER OF HEAT. Mr. Varick—‘'It 's fer Lemuel Duyckinck’s funeral, mother. ain't it?” AN OMISSION. Orricer—"'Sce here; where are you going with all those goods? You've been Mose — Journal, an’ 1 long wid it fo" Orricer ealing.” “Deed T ain't, boss. I dun subscribe fo' dat Pop'lar Monthly got dis set 0° strike-lo-pe-dium, two chickens, an’ a razzer izes.” * Well, where's the paper?" Fo' de Lo'd ! T done fo'got dat.” BETRAYED BY AFFECTION. It's kind of appropriate fer an old volunteer fireman, Mrs, Varick—" Yes, Hosea ; an’ from what I've known of him he'll need it where he's goin’.” were hurt worse. It galled me so to think that the only man in the rebel regiment who escaped was the one who knocked me down, and my com- rades taunted me about it so unmer- cifully, that I resolved if I ever met the rascal I'd flay him alive. Now, sir, you've got to take your punish- “There are no buts about it.” And before the astonished mem- ber of the sixth Texas infantry could repeat his running feat the pseudo corporal of the twenty-fifth Rhode Island had him thrashed so completely that he howled for mercy. WILLIASC MEEWRY SIVITER, TRIALS OF HIGH LIFE. Mrs. de Style—" Something should be done to stop this disgusting industrial-art progress. It's perfectly horrid!" Friend —"What is the matter now?" Mrs. de Style —" They've got things so now one can never tell whether a neighbor's dinner-set was made in Europe or New Jersey.” Mrs, MEAGHER—"' Wasn't it you thot tould me you wor late be ray- son av tekin’ yure time t' wash up at th’ gas-house 7” comicbooks.com