Judge, 1892-05-14 · page 6 of 18
Judge — May 14, 1892 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains six separate humorous vignettes typical of late-19th-century American satire: **"A Philosopher"** presents a dialect poem celebrating a laborer's honest contentment returning home—sentimental nostalgia for rural/working-class life. **"How William Got His Breakfast"** depicts a vagabond's successful panhandling through flattery, satirizing both gullibility and deception. **"Both Ways at Once"** mocks the Democratic Party platform as internally contradictory and directionless—a common political jab suggesting the party stood for nothing coherent. **"Accommodation at the Turf Club"** jokes about social climbing and name-dropping at sporting venues. **"Easy to Believe"** plays on the implausibility of chess's ancient origins through impatient wordplay. **"Misunderstood the Word"** contains a pun: a ship captain warns passengers about "steel" during a lightning storm, but some mishear it as "steal," fearing theft rather than electrical danger. Overall, the page mixes working-class humor, political satire, and wordplay—characteristic of Judge's middlebrow appeal.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A PHILOSOPHER. T EB'NIN’, when de shadders come a-shiverin’ down de road, \ An‘ de ole mule acks oneasy case he ain’ got any load, Dah's a feelin’ Dat comes stealin’ Fro’ yoh bosom when you stop An’ see de smoke a-curlin’ fum de cabin chimbly-top, A sensefulness ob duty done an’ hones'-earned relief, An’ onconscious- like yoh whistles “Home, sweet home,” atween yoh teef. Yoh gets inside an’ fin's a place oncommon nice an’ neat, put yoh suddenly diskibers yoh fohgot ter wipe yoh feet, An’ de mussin’ Brings a fussin’ Ob a mos’ alarmin’ size, An’ yoh whistlin’ gits so mixed up dat yoh stops it in surprise ; But yoh ain’ discouraged, ‘case yoh knows yoh'd drop it mighty soon Ef dah nebber was no sign ob variations to de tune, FHILANDER JOUNSOM. HOW WILLIAM GOT HIS BREAKFAST. WANDERING WILLIAM —"*'Scuse my presumption, ma'am, in arskin’ you ef you have any of your home-made bread I've heard so much about?” Mrs, ‘TrppLewink —"' You dear man! of course T have, and coffee and meat and cake too. Come right in.” BOTH WAYS AT ONCE. 6 ENTLEMEN, may I go with you?” Gs Where? ig ; “T don’t care.” 5 “But we are going in opposite directions. This gentle- man is going north, while Iam going south.” “T don't care.” “But which of us do you wish to accompany ?” ACCOMMODATION AT THE TURF CLUB. + you can’t go in two directions at on Jackiey—"' I want you to know Bobby Bunn, the jockey.” “Can't I, though? I guess you don’t know who Iam, ‘THE STEWARD —"* Proud to meet you, sir. Set down.” I'm the Democratic platform.” EASY TO BELIEVE. se] IS said that chess was played one hundred and fifty years before ” olSserved the deliberate player. “It must be older,” replied the impatient one, “for I've been w since 150 b. C. for you to make a move.” MISUNDERSTOOD THE WORD. CAPTAIN OF STEAMER (during terrible thunder-storm) —"* Gentlemen, the lightning is terrible, and if any of you have any steel about you you are liable to Some thought he meant s/ce/ and others steal, be struck.” comicbooks.com