Judge, 1892-04-30 · page 5 of 18
Judge — April 30, 1892 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge presents various satirical sketches and jokes typical of the magazine's format. **"An Epitaph"** mocks New York City corruption, comparing future archaeologists studying relics of the present era to those studying ancient civilizations. The satire targets politicians and contractors involved in Broadway surface-road construction, sarcastically noting millions were spent while only a fraction went to useful purposes—a clear reference to graft and kickbacks common in Gilded Age municipal politics. **Other brief jokes** include wordplay about apartment living ("swing a cat"), marital humor, and Irish-immigrant dialect humor (Mrs. Whalen's toothache). **"Some Possible Titles of Future Books"** satirizes contemporary public figures: Rev. John Jasper (known for theological pronouncements), D.B. Hill (Democratic politician), Richard Mansfield (actor), and Anthony Comstock (censorship crusader). The page is primarily humor and social commentary rather than focused political cartooning, reflecting Judge's typical satirical approach to contemporary urban life, politics, and public figures.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE AN EPITAPH. AS THE sage antiquary eager seeks In famous ruins carved heroic Greeks, Apollo's godlike face or Niobe, Showing the type of man who graced that day (For mythologic gods or dames who weep Close to the living form must ever keep), In mummied greatness Pharaohs of the past, In lone campagna statues carved or cast ; So in the coming time shall studious men Delve in these ruins metropolitan ‘To find the type of man who power swayed In times when Broadway surface-roads were laid ; ‘What time it cost three millions to expend ote Five hundred thousand for some useful end, ‘And reading ‘*divvy,” ** pull,” ‘der gang,” and “see” In ancient scrolls, might query what. they be. Here we embalm the face, but not, alas! As we would wish, the cheek at least in brass, Carving no letter there—blame not the bard, For he would find the cheek, I fear, too hard. AT. WORDEN. THE REASON. Jaggs—"Why do they object to keeping cats in a flat?” Waggs — “ Because in most of them there isn't room to swing one.” THE SUM. Friend (to young MRS, WHALEN'S TEETH. husband )—“ What is the Mrs. McSwinney —‘An’ shure, Mr. Whalen, how ’s Mrs. sum of human happiness, Whalen?” Fred?" Mr. WitaLen—'‘Shure, it's a toothache she has, Mrs. McSwinney.” Young husband— Mrs. McSwinney —"' Toothache, is it? An’ she only afther “One and one are one.” _gittin’ a new set av tathe not a wake ould, SOME POSSIBLE TITLES OF FUTURE BOOKS. + UTHE Past, Present and Future Rate of Speed of the Sun,” by the Rev. John Jasper. “ How It Feels to be the Most Disappointed Man in the World,” by D. B, Hill. “People Who Killed Themselves Laughing at My Jokes,” by Mr. Burnand, editor of London Punch. “ Wait Till I Dramatize the Book of Proverbs; A Prognostic Analysis of Myself,” by Richard Mansfield. Lessons Derived from Opportunities of Secing More of the Obscene Than Anybody Else,” by Anthony Comstock. “LOVE 18 BLIND. teow arap, Ciara —"‘And have you really decided to have him?” AN UNWISE INVESTMENT. Maupe—" Oh, yes.’ So Oe Miss Bleecker —"One should never buy a pig in a poke.” my face?” ee ene Miss Emerson (of Boston) —"It is always inadvisable to purchase a diminutive ‘Oh, he doesn't understand me. I told him No.” swine contained in an opaque receptacle.” FOR HIM. **1 (hie) hope my mother-in-law isn't— —Great (/hic) Scott 1" comicbooks.com