Judge, 1892-04-30 · page 4 of 18
Judge — April 30, 1892 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains several brief satirical sketches mocking Victorian social conventions and human behavior: **"He Had Been There"** jokes about breach-of-promise lawsuits—a common legal action when men refused to marry women they'd courted, resulting in substantial damages ($50,000). **"Business Before Pleasure"** satirizes a music critic who savages an oratorio performance not for quality but because the wealthy Jewish patron (Moses Gugenheimer) withdrew advertising—exposing corruption in arts journalism. **"English Society Ways"** mocks upper-class social hypocrisy: assuming a young man charmed by English society etiquette must have criminal intentions. **"A Very Good Reason"** presents wordplay about lightning never striking twice because "the place isn't there"—poking fun at faulty logic. The remaining sketches offer humorous "advice" for moving day and gentle mockery of pretentious culture and racism (the final item uses dialect humor to mock both affected speech and a woman confusing jewelry with a dog collar).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HE HAD BEEN THERE. Miss Donntns (reading paper)—"' Curious questions these papers ask, Mr. Gayboy. Now here's one wants to know the definition of a kiss. you define it?” Gavuoy (very sourly)—* Breach-of-promise suit — fifty thousand dollars.” How would BUSINESS BEFORE PLEASURE, ‘ ¢ JERUSALEM, old man! What did you give ‘The Messiah’ such a slugging for" protested the managing editor to the musical critic when he read the criticism the day after the production of the oratorio, “Tt was a fine performance.” “Yes,"" remarked the musical critic with an eye to business, “I'm aware of that; but Moses Gugenheimer has taken his advertisement out and we've got to do something to bring him around again.” ENGLISH SOCIETY WAYS, Mrs. Fleecy—" Young Dudeleigh said to-night that he thought the ways of English society were simply charming.” Mr. Fleecy —* We'd better watch Dudeleigh and see that he doesn’t steal any of your jewels.” A VERY GOOD REASON. Mrs, Chinner—"\ wonder why lightning never strikes twice in the same place.” Chinner —" When the lightning comes around the second time the place isn’t there.” A WRONG APPLICATION, ‘*Mirandy, T guess that ai insect-powder you got yistenlay hain't no good. T dun tuck three doses, an’ the pesky flies is as bad as ever.” ADVICE FOR MOVING-DAY. SEAR in low tones, for of such is the refinement of profanity. Sleep on a mattress if you can, on the bare floor if you must. Never mind your bruises. Time and court-plaster cure all wounds. Eat very little before and after moving, Expenses must be kept down somehow. Be polite to the cartmen and your bill for repairs will be less than otherwise. Put down the new carpets yourself, Experience with carpet-tacks teaches a man how to meet the battles of life. If the cartmen do not arrive on time, hire others. If the courts make you pay both, remember that money must be kept in circulation, 3 Tell the cartmen to leave your best things standing on the sidewalk for along while, You may as well show your new neighbors what fine things you have. Send your children into the country to your cousins. They're in the way at moving-time, and the cousins like the idea. They'll get their revenge by visiting you for a couple of weeks during the winter. x, s. 1. AN INDICATION OF CULTURE. Miss Bleecker —* Miss Beacon-street is such a cultured girl!” Miss Weeh —"Yes, indeed! She always exclaims * Rodents!" instead of * Rats HER NEW NECKLAC Grorcr —'*Clande, dat Smiff gal hab got a new Ciavpe—* No nec’lace ; do yo" min’ dat?” ; you's wrong. She's got de dawg’s collah on." comicbooks.com