Judge — April 9, 1892 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

P40 JuDeE EXPLAINED. +6 JOHN, you were talking in your sleep last night, and you frequently spoke in terms of endearment to a cer- tain Euphemia. Who is Eu- phemia?” “Why, my dear, that was my—my sister's name.” “John! your sister's name was Jane.” “Yes, dear; but we called A RoMAN CAMPAIGN.— From an ancient file, 4am. = dee her Euphemia for short.” WESTERN WAYS. GAVE HIM THE WHOLE LIST. Western Lamp—"' I hate to find fault with the scriptures, A Bs but talk about ‘Tempering the wind to the shorn lamb,’ Old doctor—" You have cured your patient. Now what are you worrying about?” why, I haven't been shorn more than ten minutes and here Young doctor —* \—1 don't know which one of the medicines cured him.’ comes a cyclone.” GIVING HIM A CHARACTER. +6 PQRONSON makes me tired. He is quarrelsome and clumsy,” said Martin. “That's true. Bronson would try to split a hair with a meat-axe, I think.” RETRIBUTION. CAME, I saw; I pressed her hand ; I begged her for a kiss. She blushed, looked down—I stole the prize, It_was a dream of bliss. I've wakened from my dream since then. “That kiss has cost me dear. I'm paying alimony now For it twelve times a year. ALEX. LAIDLAW, JR. AN INVARIABLE SETTLER. George —* What's that? You don’t call regularly on Miss Sweetie any more? Has she rejected you?” Jack (sadly) — No; I didn’t propose. No use.” George —" Sure?” Jack—" Sure as shooting. One night I pretended to admire one of her rings and hitched up a trifle closer to examine it more closely, you know.” George (reflectively) —" Y-e-s, I know.” Jack—" Well, she took it off and handed it to me.” HIS WAY OF LOOKING AT IT. MonkvLots—"' See here, Sam ; I told you never to wear those trousers I gave you on week-days, when I wear the coat and vest of the suit.” Sam—* Why, boss? Is yo" ‘fraid we will be taken fo’ twins?” A NATURAL CONSEQUENCE. + © NOW,” said the physician, “you will have to eat plain food and not stay out late at night.” “Yes,” replied the patient; “that is what I have been thinking ever since you sent in your bill.” AMPLE EX- PLANATION, She (in affright) —Oh, Tom, why do you make such awful faces at me?" He (contritely) —"I can't help it, GOT WORSE. dear. My eye-glass- Par O'Rourke —" Sorra th’ day Oi iver got married t° PREPARING FOR WAR. es are falling off th’ loike av yer?" , = Your cousin is a licutenant in the American army, isn’t he?” and I don’t want Mrs. O'Rourke —"'Shure, didn’t ye take me fer betther Yes."" 1 ae or fer worse?” Has he ever been in a fight?” to let go of your Pat O'Rourke—" Vis, bad luck t yez! Oi took yez fer No; but he is taking boxing-lessons.”" hands.” betther,”” comicbooks.com